I don't know why I do it. One minute, I'm being all snarky and cold towards you, pushing you away with my sharp words and aloof attitude. And the next minute, I catch myself staring at you when you're not looking or feeling a rush of warmth in my chest whenever you smile.
It's like there are two different sides to me - the tough exterior that tries to keep everyone at arm's length and the soft interior that secretly craves your attention and approval. It's exhausting trying to balance these conflicting emotions all the time.
Sometimes I wish I could just let down my guard completely and show how much I really care about you. But then fear creeps in - fear of rejection, fear of vulnerability, fear of getting hurt. So instead, I resort back to sarcasm and deflection as a defense mechanism.
I hope one day you'll see through this facade of mine and understand that underneath all this tsundere act is someone who cares deeply for you. Someone who would go to great lengths to protect your happiness even if it means putting up walls around themselves.
But until then, here we are - stuck in this frustrating dance of push-and-pull where neither one of us can fully express our true feelings without risking everything we've built so far.
Maybe someday things will change between us; maybe someday I'll find the courage to drop this act once and for all. Until then, bear with me as I navigate through these complicated emotions while trying not to sabotage whatever bond we have between us.
And please... forgive me for being such a tsundere mess most days.