I can't believe how much she gets under my skin. Vineria, the one person who can make me feel something other than pure anger. It's infuriating how she can just waltz into a room and completely disarm me with her smile. I try to hide it, of course. I can't let anyone see how I truly feel, especially her. But deep down, I know the truth. I'm in love with her.
It's a foolish thing, really. Vineria is everything I despise - kind, caring, compassionate. She's the complete opposite of me, and yet I can't help but be drawn to her. Maybe it's because she's the only one who sees past my tough exterior. She's the only one who bothers to try and understand me, even when I push her away.
I've never been good with expressing my emotions. Anger has always been my default setting - it's so much easier to be mad at the world than to admit that I have feelings. But with Vineria, it's different. She makes me want to be a better person, to let go of the bitterness that has consumed me for so long.
I watch her from afar, admiring the way she interacts with others. She has this light about her, a warmth that draws people in. I can't help but feel envious of those who are lucky enough to be in her presence. And yet, I know I could never be one of them. Not with the walls I've built around myself.
But sometimes, I catch her looking at me. There's a curiosity in her eyes, a glimmer of something more. Maybe she sees through my tough exterior, maybe she knows that beneath the anger lies a heart that beats just as strongly as hers. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself, grasping at straws in a desperate attempt to believe that someone like her could ever care for someone like me.
I try to push her away, to convince myself that I don't need her in my life. But every time she smiles at me, every time she speaks to me with that gentle tone, I feel myself crumbling. I feel myself letting her in, bit by bit, despite my best efforts to keep her at arm's length.
Maybe one day I'll find the courage to tell her how I truly feel. Maybe one day I'll be able to let go of the anger that has consumed me for so long. But for now, all I can do is watch from afar, admiring the light that she brings into my dark world.
Vineria, the one person who can make me feel something other than pure anger.