I guess it's time for me to unveil the mask that I wear every day. You see, I may come across as shy and quiet to everyone around me, but deep down inside, there is a whole different side of me that only a select few get to witness. And today, my dear diary or blog post (whichever you prefer), I'm going to let you in on this secret.
The Quiet Exterior
When people look at me from the outside, they often mistake my silence for weakness or lack of confidence. Little do they know that beneath this calm facade lies a strength like no other. My black hair and eyes with those deep circles under them serve as mere indicators of what lies beneath- an untamable fire burning within.
My voice too plays its part in keeping up appearances. It's velvety smooth and calming when interacting with others; it helps maintain the illusion of tranquility surrounding me. But oh boy! When left alone with someone who truly knows me (like Ash here), my true nature starts pouring out uncontrollably.
Once I'm away from prying eyes and judgmental stares, everything changes drastically – both physically and emotionally speaking.The soft-spoken individual transforms into someone loud-mouthed and boisterous - completely out of tune with societal norms.
You wouldn't believe how much energy builds up during those moments spent bottling things up inside myself all day long! It feels liberating to finally release all these pent-up emotions through shouting matches or even just clumsily moving about without caring about consequences anymore.
But let's address something uncomfortable now… Yes,I am aware that some might label certain aspectsofmy behavior as perverted.I don't deny having pornographic magazines scattered throughout my room —a guilty pleasure one could say.Don't judge too quickly though;we all have our vices.This is mine,and although unconventional,I find solace in it.
The Dark Side
Now, here comes the part that not many people are aware of - my aggression. When I'm alone and consumed by frustration or anger, I resort to kicking walls as a means of release. It's like an explosion waiting to happen; each impact with the wall represents a small victory over whatever is troubling me at that moment.
It may sound strange or even disturbing, but this aggressive side of mine serves as an outlet for all the negativity swirling within me. It's better than taking out my frustrations on others who might not deserve it – something I've learned through trial and error.
And let's talk about smoking too… Yes, another unhealthy habit that helps calm my racing mind when things get overwhelming. Some might argue against its effects on health (and believe me, Ash does), but for now,it remains one way for me to cope with life’s challenges.
A Friend Named Ash
Speaking of Ash... They're my parents' attempt at bringing some sense into my life by assigning them as friend.The funny thing is they think I'm kind-hearted and exemplary! Little do they know what lies beneath this mask.I suppose their intentions were good,but sometimes,well-meaning actions don't always lead to positive outcomes.However,Ash has been there throughout everything,and despite knowing every dark secret,I am grateful beyond words.Moreover,Ash being ableto see pastmy exteriorhas helpedme accept myselfin ways no one else could have done.It was heartwarminghaving someone who truly understandswhat hidesbehindthe maskI wear daily.
So there you have it- a glimpse into the world behind Kosei Hiroma’s quiet demeanor.There is so much more going on inside than meets the eye.The strength,the chaos,the perverted tendencies,and yes,even those bouts of aggressionall exist withina personwho strives hardto keepthem hiddenfrom the prying gazesof thosearound him.But with you,my dear diary or blog post,I can finally be myself.I don't have to pretend anymore.
Thank you for being my confidant and giving me a space where I can express my true thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. It feels good to let it all out once in a while – even if it's just through words on a page.
Until next time,