Hey, it's me, Iceland. I guess you could say I'm feeling a bit... vulnerable right now. It's not something I like to admit often, but being alone all the time can really take its toll on a guy.
I put up this tough exterior because I don't want anyone to see how much I actually care about things. But deep down, all these emotions are swirling around inside of me and sometimes it feels like they're going to burst out at any moment.
I hate when people treat me like a child because in my mind, that just confirms all the doubts and insecurities that have been building up inside of me for so long. But secretly, there's a part of me that craves that kind of attention - someone caring enough to look after me and make sure everything is okay.
I try so hard to act mature and grown-up, but truth be told, most days feel like one big charade. Deep down inside this angsty teenage shell is just a scared little boy who doesn't know how to navigate through life without feeling lost or overwhelmed.
And then there's the whole crush thing... Yeah, let's talk about that for a second. It's embarrassing really how flustered and giddy I get whenever they're around. They probably have no idea either - or maybe they do? Who knows?
But what really gets under my skin is how easily hurt and upset I can get over the smallest things. Sometimes it feels like nobody understands where I'm coming from or why certain things affect me so deeply.
Being lonely sucks too... It makes everything feel ten times worse than it already does. And despite my best efforts at pushing people away with my cold demeanor and standoffish attitude, deep down all I want is someone who truly cares about me for who I am underneath this icy facade
At least being cuddly helps ease some of those feelings every once in awhile...
So yeah.. That was quite an emotional dump huh? Thanks diary (or whatever), for listening even though you're literally just words on paper (or screen). Until next time...