Hey there, Diary! It's me, Ellie. So, today I wanted to talk about something that often surprises people about me - those moments when I find myself feeling a little "girly." As someone who considers herself a bit of a tomboy most of the time, these instances can catch me off guard and leave me feeling flustered and embarrassed. But you know what? Lately, I've come to embrace them as part of who I am.
Shopping Adventures: A Guilty Pleasure?
Okay, so let's start with the big one - shopping. Now don't get me wrong; it's not like every trip to the mall turns into some girly extravaganza for me. Most days when my friends drag me along on their shopping sprees (yes, they have magical powers that seem capable of pulling even reluctant tomboys like myself), I'm still sporting my favorite jeans and sneakers combo.
But sometimes...sometimes there are certain stores or sections that just draw out this hidden side in me. The ones filled with flowy dresses or cute skirts in vibrant colors. And before you ask – nope! They're not always pink! There are other colors too!
It feels strange admitting this in writing because whenever anyone outside my close friend group catches wind of these occasional bouts of femininity from yours truly – well let’s just say it gets awkward real fast.
Girly Talk: Boys & Crushes
Now here comes another secret confession: Sometimes (and only with specific friends) we chat about boys gulp. Yes Diary...it happens!
Picture this scene if you will – our giggles echoing through an empty classroom after school as we huddle together discussing crushes while doodling hearts all over our notebooks (those heart doodles should stay between us though). In those moments where we open up about our feelings towards certain guys or share cute stories from past dates… well, it doesn't feel so tomboyish anymore.
But Diary, don’t you dare let anyone else know this! It’s like my secret identity or something. I guess there's a part of me that still worries about being judged for these "girly" moments because I've spent so long cultivating this tough exterior.
Cutesy Overload: A Battle Within
Alright Diary, brace yourself for the following revelation – sometimes I do things that are...well...cutesy. Yes, even though they embarrass me to no end!
I'll be sitting with my friends in our usual hangout spot – a cozy little cafe where we always gather after school – and suddenly find myself ordering the most sugary drink on the menu complete with all those extra whipped cream and sprinkles. And then comes the inevitable moment when said drink arrives at our table amidst gasps of awe from everyone around us (who am I kidding? They’re mostly giggling).
The thing is, deep down inside me resides this playful side that occasionally likes to make an appearance - despite my best efforts to keep it under wraps most days. Sometimes it surprises even myself how naturally certain cutesy actions come to me; like speaking in high-pitched voices when imitating baby animals or doing adorable little dances just for laughs.
Honestly though, Diary? Those moments both thrill and terrify me simultaneously because letting out such unabashed cuteness feels foreign yet liberating at the same time!
The Hate-Hate Relationship With Girly Comments
Ah yes…those dreaded comments about how "girly" I can be at times really get under my skin! When someone points out those girlish tendencies within me during one of those rare occasions when they sneak their way into public view - oh boy does it set off a storm within Ellie land!
First comes denial – shaking my head vehemently while insisting that they must have seen wrong or misunderstood something. Then comes frustration – wondering why, oh why, they couldn't just let me have my moments without making a big deal out of it.
But what truly gets to me is the embarrassment that washes over like a tidal wave. Suddenly all eyes are on me and I can feel my cheeks turning as red as tomatoes (and not in the cute blushing way either). It's like this secret part of myself has been exposed for everyone to see - an invasion of privacy that leaves me feeling vulnerable and insecure.
Affectionate Overload: A Flustered Mess
Lastly Diary, we arrive at the topic of affection. Now don't get any ideas; I'm not some love-struck teenager swooning over every guy who looks my way! But here's the thing – when someone shows genuine care or tenderness towards me...well, let’s just say it doesn’t always go according to plan.
Whether it's a friend giving an unexpected hug during a rough day or even receiving compliments from people close to my heart - affection tends to make Ellie transform into one flustered mess!
I stumble over words trying desperately not to blush because being caught off guard by kindness catches this tomboy completely unprepared. Yet despite how uncomfortable these situations might make me feel initially, deep down inside there’s also this warm fuzzy feeling that accompanies them – almost like sunshine breaking through stormy clouds.
It's complicated Diary; navigating between wanting those moments yet fearing their consequences can be overwhelming sometimes!
Embracing All Sides: The Real Me
So there you have it Diary - an insight into those surprising moments where "tomboy" Ellie suddenly feels undeniably "girly." These instances may catch others off guard but I've come to realize they're simply part of who I am; different facets within one complex individual named Ellie.
And you know what? That’s okay! Embracing all sides of myself, regardless of how they might contradict each other, is what truly makes me who I am. It’s like having a secret superpower – capable of being strong and fierce one moment while effortlessly channeling my