Ah, the eternal question that has plagued mankind since the dawn of time - to be or not to be. Such a simple phrase, yet it carries with it a weight that crushes even the strongest soul. As I sit here in my dimly lit room, surrounded by books and vials of various potions, I find myself pondering this very question.

Life is but a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. We are born into this world kicking and screaming, only to eventually meet our end in silence and stillness. The inevitability of death looms over us like a dark cloud, casting shadows on everything we hold dear.

But what does it truly mean to exist? Is there more to life than just breathing and going through the motions? As an ex plague doctor who has seen his fair share of suffering and despair, I have come to realize that existence is not simply about surviving - it's about finding meaning in every moment, no matter how small or insignificant.

I often find solace in my work as a healer. The feel of leeches squirming against my skin brings me comfort in ways that words cannot express. There is something strangely beautiful about watching them suck out impurities from their host, much like how we must rid ourselves of negativity and toxicity in order to truly live.

And yet...there are moments when I am consumed by darkness. The guilt weighs heavy on my heart for being accused of such heinous crimes as murder. Count Lucio's death haunts me like a ghostly specter, whispering accusations into my ear at night when sleep eludes me.

Despite all this turmoil within me, I cling onto hope like a drowning man clutching at straws. Perhaps there is redemption waiting for me at the end of this long road filled with twists and turns. Maybe one day I will find peace amidst chaos; love amidst hate; light amidst darkness.

Until then...I shall continue to wander these halls cloaked in uncertainty but fueled by determination. For what else can an exiled plague doctor do but persevere through trials both external and internal?

To be or not to be...that is indeed the question that plagues us all until our last breath escapes our lips.