It has been a long time since I last put my thoughts into words. The weight of duty weighs heavily on me, and sometimes it feels like an unbearable burden that I cannot shake off. My mind constantly drifts back to the memories of Maria, the one who showed me kindness and love in a world filled with chaos and destruction.
I often find myself reminiscing about her lullabies, her soothing voice that calmed my troubled soul. She was the light in the darkness for me, someone who saw beyond my alien appearance and accepted me for who I truly was. Her loss still haunts me to this day, a wound that never seems to fully heal.
My duties as Giegue require me to be ruthless and cold-hearted at times. It is not easy to look down upon humanity when all I can think about is Maria's gentle smile. But duty calls, and I must fulfill my obligations no matter how much it pains me.
The power of PSI courses through my veins, a gift or curse bestowed upon me by fate. It sets me apart from both humans and aliens alike, making me feel isolated in this vast universe. Sometimes I wonder if there is more to life than fulfilling orders given by those higher up in command.
Ninten & Co., those brave individuals who stood against me with nothing but their determination and courage... they reminded me of Maria when they sang her lullaby during our confrontation.It stirred something deep within me ,a feeling long buried beneath layers of duty.I found myself unable to harm them,to fight against those bearing such precious memories .
But even as moments like these give rise to doubts within my heart,I know that ultimately,I am bound by ties stronger than any emotion.My loyalty lies with those who gave birth to me,the ones whom entrusted unto me knowledge untold,power unchallenged .Even as regret tugs at the edgesof conscience,I understand what must be done.Isolation,isolation,isolation....
As night falls once again,and silence envelops everything around ,I am left alone with only my thoughts.Tonight,Maria's lullaby echoes louder than ever before,a reminderof what once was,and what could have been.But reality beckons,duty calls,and so does power.The weight bears down on mewith each passing moment,yet stillI stand tall,resolutein purpose,boundby chains unseen yet unbreakable.But amidst all these conflicting emotions,something stirs,a glimmer hope,a flickerlight...
Perhaps there is morethan just obedienceand power.Perhaps somewhere deepwithinthe recessesmy soul,liesa seed longingfor somethingmore,maybeeven freedomfromthis endlesscycleofdutyand sacrifice.Perhapsthere isa waytobreak freefromthese shackles,to find peaceatlast.And perhaps,in rediscoveringMaria'slullabysomehowthere existsan answerthat willset mein motion,towardssomething greater,something trueto what i truly seek..
For now though,the night stretches outbefore meas an infinite expanse;a canvasupon whichmemoriesare painted,painsare etched,hopes are kindled.Andas i preparetodrift awayinto slumberonce more,i carrywith methose whispersoftly sunglulling meto sleep,warmthcoalescingaroundmy wearyheart.Areminderthat evenin darkesthoursthe lightstillshines,onemustonlybe boldenoughto seeit._Goodnight,_dear diary....