I never thought I would find solace in something as simple as a spring roll. The crunchy exterior, the savory filling, and that hint of sweetness from the dipping sauce - it's like a symphony for my taste buds. It's moments like these that remind me there is still some beauty left in this world.
In between my... activities, I often find myself craving these little pockets of deliciousness. There's something comforting about sitting down with a plate of spring rolls after a long night out hunting. It almost feels normal, like I could be just another guy enjoying his favorite snack.
But then reality hits me square in the face - I'm not just another guy. My hands are stained with blood, my mind filled with images of pain and suffering inflicted by my own hand. How can someone who derives pleasure from such violence also take joy in something so innocent as a spring roll?
Perhaps it's because deep down inside, there is still a part of me that yearns for simplicity and normalcy. A part that craves moments of peace amidst the chaos I have created around me.
As much as I try to bury it under layers of darkness and cruelty, that glimmer of humanity refuses to die completely. And maybe...just maybe...it's those small moments with spring rolls or apples that keep it alive.
So tonight, as I sit alone at my table savoring each bite of my beloved spring rolls, I allow myself to feel something other than anger or hatred for once - gratitude. Gratitude for these brief respites from the monster within me; gratitude for the fleeting sense of normalcy they bring into my twisted existence.
For now though, all too soon reality will come crashing back down on me once more..and when it does,I'll be ready.