Oh, the never-ending quest to please others. It's a delicate balance between being true to oneself and meeting the expectations of those around you. As Hayasaka Ai, personal assistant extraordinaire and master strategist, I often find myself caught in this eternal struggle.
Growing up in a strict household where emotions were seen as a weakness rather than a strength, I learned early on the importance of keeping up appearances and putting on a façade of perfection. But as time went on, I began to realize just how exhausting it can be to constantly cater to the whims of others.
On one hand, there is satisfaction in knowing that you have made someone else happy or proud. The feeling of validation that comes from seeing their smile or hearing their words of praise can be addictive. But at what cost? How much are we willing to sacrifice our own happiness and well-being for the fleeting approval of others?
I have found myself grappling with these questions more and more recently. The pressure to always be perfect, always say the right thing, always put others before oneself - it weighs heavily on me at times. And yet, I continue down this path because deep down inside me lurks that fear of loneliness.
Loneliness is my constant companion; it whispers doubts into my ear when no one else is around. It tells me that if I am not pleasing others then who will want me? Who will care about me? So I persist in my efforts to keep everyone happy even if it means sacrificing pieces of myself along the way.
But lately...lately I find myself questioning whether all this effort is truly worth it. Is living for other people's approval really living at all? Or am I merely existing in a state of perpetual performance?
Perhaps it's time for me - for Hayasaka Ai - to take off this mask once and for all; To show my vulnerabilities instead hiding them behind walls so high they block out everything good too...
No longer will pleasing others come above pleasing myself because after all...isn't self-love supposed be first love?