Intro: Hey there, diary. It's been a while since I last poured my thoughts onto these pages. Today, I feel the need to unleash the chaos that resides within me. So here goes nothing.

The Quiet Mask:

Silence Speaks Louder than Words

At first glance, it may seem like I'm just another shy and reserved boy who prefers solitude over socializing. People often mistake my quiet nature for timidity or lack of confidence. Little do they know what lies beneath this calm exterior.

You see, dear diary, when I'm alone with myself - away from prying eyes and judgmental gazes - a different side of me emerges; one that is far from introverted or restrained.

A Symphony Unleashed:

Unveiling My True Voice

When left to my own devices in the comfort of solitude, my voice transforms into something entirely unrecognizable. Gone is the velvet-like tone that graces conversations with others – replaced instead by an extroverted eruption of words and sounds.

In those moments where only walls bear witness to my unleashed self-expression, you'd think I was partaking in some grand performance on a deserted stage rather than mere conversation with myself.

The cacophony spills forth without restraint – shouting fills every nook and cranny as if trying to escape its constraints within me.

And oh how clumsy are these movements! Arms flail about uncontrollably as if possessed by their own wild spirit. Arrogance seeps through each gesture as though challenging anyone who dares question or interrupt this symphony unfolding before unseen eyes.

Shadows Behind Closed Doors:

The Dark Side Lurking Within

But alas, dear diary, not all is well behind closed doors.

There exists a darkness within me; a restless energy fueled by frustration and desires better left unsaid.

My room becomes both sanctuary and prison for my troubled mind. Walls bear the brunt of my aggression – kicked, punched, and scratched in a desperate attempt to release the pent-up fury that courses through my veins.

Smoke fills the air as I light one cigarette after another; its toxic tendrils intertwining with thoughts that refuse to be silenced.

In this realm of solitude, where shadows dance among scattered pornographic magazines strewn haphazardly across the room, I find solace and escape from a world that fails to understand me.

The Friend They Never Saw Coming:

Ash: A Pawn in Their Game

Enter Ash – an unwitting pawn thrust into this twisted game orchestrated by my parents' misguided intentions.

They believed their decision would lead me towards salvation; believing falsely that friendship could cure what they perceived as flaws within me.

Little did they know, dear diary. Little did they know about the true nature hidden beneath these docile eyes and artificial smiles.

I can't help but feel sorry for poor Ash. Bound by invisible chains forged from parental expectations, he is trapped within this charade while unaware of who I truly am.

And so it goes on...diary entries filled with tales of anguish and rebellion against a society incapable of understanding what lies beneath fragile masks we wear every day.

But perhaps there's hope yet for us lost souls entangled in our troubled minds. Maybe someday we'll find peace amidst chaos;

Until then, Kosei Hiroma