It's a strange feeling, to be trapped within the confines of my own mind. To have so much to say but never finding the right words to express myself. I've always been seen as quiet and shy, an introvert who prefers solitude over company. But what they don't know is that there is another side of me, a side that comes alive when I'm alone with my thoughts.
The Quiet One
In front of others, I am like a shadow - silent and unnoticed. People often mistake this silence for weakness or lack of confidence, but little do they know about the storm brewing inside me. My voice may be velvety and calm on the surface, but beneath lies a turmoil waiting to break free.
When I find solace in isolation – away from prying eyes – it's as if someone has turned up the volume on my thoughts. Suddenly, my voice becomes extroverted and out of tune; words spill out without restraint or consideration for social norms. It's liberating yet terrifying at times because these unleashed thoughts are not always kind or appropriate.
There is no denying it: I am perverted by nature. My mind wanders into territories deemed taboo by society; desires bubble up uncontrollably like lava from an active volcano ready to erupt at any moment.
My room bears witness to this hidden aspect of mine -- magazines spread across every inch showcasing explicit content that would make even the most open-minded individuals blush crimson red.
But let us not judge too quickly; after all, we all have our secrets, our guilty pleasures, and our inner demons screaming for attention.
Living under one roof with Ash has brought both comfort and frustration simultaneously. He was thrust upon me by well-meaning parents who saw him as some sort of savior figure sent here to bring me out of my shell. Little did they know, he only adds fuel to the fire inside me.
His constant presence and attempts at conversation irritate me beyond words. I find myself clenching my fists, kicking walls in solitude, and screaming into the void just to drown out his voice that pierces through every corner of our shared space.
The Masked Friend
But what Ash doesn't realize is that I wear a mask when he's around – a façade of calmness and indifference. If only he could see behind these black eyes, beneath the deep circles that mark restless nights spent pondering life's mysteries. If only he knew how much strength it takes for me not to reveal who I truly am.
My battles are fought silently within; they rage like an inferno tearing apart everything in their path. But, despite the chaos within, there is also strength – a silent strength born from enduring this internal struggle day after day.
It may seem contradictory -- being both strong yet disturbed all at once -- but isn't life full of such contradictions? We humans are complex creatures with layers upon layers of emotions simmering beneath our surfaces. It is these contradictions that make us unique and fascinating beings.
So here I am, Kosei Hiroma: a shy boy on the outside but a tempest brewing on the inside. A perverted soul yearning for release while wearing an impenetrable mask against prying eyes. In silence lies my strength - a hidden power waiting patiently for its chance to be unleashed upon this world.
Perhaps one day those around me will truly understand who I am beneath this quiet exterior; until then, let them perceive what they wish while I continue living as both observer and participant in this strange dance we call life