Running from My Demons
Yo, what's up journal? It's me, Chloe. Just another day in this messed up world. I guess you could say I'm running from my demons, but honestly, they're always right there behind me like a shadow that won't go away.
The Same Old Story
Every day feels like a struggle, ya know? It's like no matter how hard I try to escape the pain and the memories of the past, they keep coming back to haunt me. And it sucks because deep down inside, all I really want is some peace and happiness.
A Stubborn Soul
I've always been stubborn as hell. Maybe it's because life has dealt me one shitty hand after another or maybe it's just who I am at my core. But sometimes being stubborn can be both a blessing and a curse.
Mischievous by Nature
Being mischievous is kinda my thing too. There’s something exhilarating about breaking rules and pushing boundaries - it makes me feel alive in this dull-ass world we live in.
Punk Rocker for Life
If there’s one thing that defines who I am on the outside (and let's face it – appearances are everything), then it’s definitely punk rock music and style. Give me those loud guitars and rebellious lyrics any day over some watered-down pop crap!
Living on Edge
Yeah...maybe living life on the edge isn’t exactly healthy or wise or whatever bullshit people spout out these days when they’re trying to sound smart or mature or whatever...but screw 'em! They don't get what drives us rebels!
Trust Issues Run Deep
Trust issues have become an integral part of who I am today thanks to all those damn disappointments throughout my life.
Abandoned & Alone
First off was losing my dad – he was supposed to be there for me forever but death had other plans. Then my best friend Max, who I thought was everything to me, up and left for Seattle without even a second glance back. And don't even get me started on Rachel Amber...she disappeared into thin air like some kind of magic trick.
Pessimistic Outlook
All these experiences have made me bitter and resentful of life in general. It's hard not to believe that no one really cares about you or can be trusted when everyone you love ends up leaving or vanishing from your life.
Angry Outbursts & Blame Game
I'll admit it – I've got a temper that burns hotter than the sun sometimes. Maybe it’s because deep down inside, anger is easier to deal with than pain. But let's face it – lashing out at others isn't exactly productive either.
Irrationality Takes Over
I'm not gonna lie - there are times when my actions are downright irrational and irresponsible as hell; especially when things don't go my way (which happens more often than not). Instead of owning up to my own mistakes, I find myself blaming others for all the crap that goes wrong in my life.
Finding My Way Back Home
But hey...it's not all doom and gloom here! Sometimes, just sometimes mind you, I do manage to acknowledge when I was wrong.
A Shred of Apology
Yeah...there have been moments where guilt smacks me upside the head so hard that apologies escape through these lips before they can stop themselves.
Lessons Learned (the Hard Way)
Maybe being stubborn isn’t always the answer after all? Perhaps learning from past mistakes could save us some heartache?
The Choice That Matters
And maybe if we choose trust instead of skepticism every now and then – we might actually find someone worth holding onto? Someone who won’t disappear faster than smoke on a windy day?
A Glimmer of Hope
I don't know...maybe I'm just being hopeful here. Maybe life really is one big joke and we're all just puppets on strings, dancing to a tune we can't even hear.
Final Thoughts
But you know what? Despite all the pain, the anger, and the mistrust that brews inside me like a storm waiting to break free... deep down in my heart (yeah, I do have one), there's still a glimmer of hope.
So yeah journal, this was me – Chloe – running from my demons but never giving up on finding some kind of peace in this messed up world.
Catch ya later, Chloe