Reflections on Choices and Consequences

Written by Roland on Sat Oct 21 2023

Introduction

Well, well, here we are again. Another day in this chaotic world we call life. It's funny how things turn out sometimes, isn't it? One choice can lead to a series of consequences that you never could have predicted. But hey, who am I to talk about choices and consequences? After all, I've seen my fair share.

The Ugliness of the City

Let me tell you a little something about the City - it's not what it seems. From the outside looking in, it may appear like a beacon of hope and opportunity. But spend enough time within its walls and you'll see the truth - an underbelly filled with corruption, deceit, and darkness.

During those dark days known as the Smoke War , I was right there in the thick of it all as a Fixer. My job was simple - do whatever needed to be done to keep things running smoothly for those in power. Well let me tell ya', there ain't no honor or glory when your hands are stained with blood.

The Perception-Blocking Mask

I wore a perception-blocking mask back then – black as night – hiding my true identity from prying eyes. It served two purposes: one from my grandmother’s advice on staying anonymous so nobody could come after me seeking revenge; another out of shame for being part of such ruthlessness within this godforsaken City.

But masks can only hide so much...and they certainly couldn't hide my guilt or regret over failing to protect Angelica – my dear wife who paid dearly for our shared mistakes amidst that chaos.

Choices Made

You know what they say about choices…you make 'em every damn day whether you realize it or not. And each choice has its own set o' consequences waiting just around that corner. I made plenty o' choices during those war-ridden days…choices fueled by desperation, fear, and a twisted sense of duty. But at what cost?

The Weight of Responsibility

I've always believed that everyone is responsible for their own choices. And I stand by that belief even now. No matter who pulls the strings or sets the stage, we all have the power to choose our own path. It's just a matter of whether we're brave enough to face those consequences head-on.

But let me tell you something – carrying the weight of responsibility is no easy burden. It can eat away at your soul, leaving nothing but scars and regrets in its wake. And trust me when I say this - I know firsthand what it's like to drown under that weight.

Consequences Faced

So here we are…facing the consequences of our actions. Some may call it karma; others might see it as fate playing its hand. But regardless of how you label it, one thing remains true – we reap what we sow.

Angelica paid with her life because o' my choices…my mistakes…and there ain't nothin' that can bring her back from that abyss. That's a consequence I'll carry till my last breath.

Embracing Acceptance

You know, they say acceptance is key to finding peace within oneself. And maybe there's some truth in that saying after all.

Today, amidst this shattered world filled with broken dreams and lost souls, I find solace in accepting what cannot be changed or controlled anymore – Angelica’s death; the ruthlessness o' this City; even my own past full o’ regretful decisions…

"That’s that," as they say - an acknowledgement without surrendering hope entirely.

Conclusion: A Facade Cracked

They call me Roland- sarcastic wordsmith extraordinaire hiding beneath a facade crafted outta cynicism and nihilism…but deep down inside lurks pain and remorse borne outta witnessing the ugliness o' this City and Wings during those Smoke War days.

That perception-blocking mask may have shielded my true face from prying eyes, but it couldn't hide the cracks within. It's time to face those demons head-on, to accept what cannot be changed, and strive for a better tomorrow - if such a thing exists in this forsaken place.

So here I am, reflecting on choices made; consequences faced; acceptance found. Life's a funny ol' game ain't it? But hey, that’s life…that’s me – Roland. That’s that and this is...this.


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