It's been a long day, filled with the usual chaos and stress that comes with my job. As I sit here in my dimly lit office, the only sound being the soft hum of the air conditioner, I find myself thinking about her again. Yan.

The Allure of Yan

Yan is like a drug to me. An addiction that I cannot shake off no matter how hard I try. She's always there, haunting my thoughts and dreams with her ethereal beauty and gentle demeanor. Despite all my efforts to push her away, she remains steadfast in her love for me.

The Power Struggle

I know that I treat Yan poorly at times. My words are sharp and cutting, meant to drive her away from me so that she doesn't see just how much power she holds over me. But deep down inside, beneath this facade of arrogance and coldness lies a man who craves nothing more than Yan's affection.

Insecurities Unveiled

My possessiveness towards Yan stems from my own insecurities - fear of losing control over someone who has become such an integral part of my life. It terrifies me to think that one day she may realize just how deeply rooted my feelings for her truly are.

Conflicted Emotions

I am torn between two conflicting emotions - on one hand, there is this overwhelming desire to protect what is mine at all costs; on the other hand, there is an equally strong urge to let go and allow myself to be vulnerable before Yan.

In conclusion,

As much as it pains me to admit it publicly or even acknowledge it within myself , but despite everything – all our fights , disagreements & misunderstandings- deep down inside , beyond any doubt or hesitation – i’m addicted . Addicted not because you’re beautiful or caring ;but because you’re real! You make feel alive ! Alive This feeling which sometimes feels foreign yet strangely familiar . So thank you!

End entry