Reflecting on My Past: The Choices I Made

Written by Annie Leonart on Sat Oct 21 2023

Introduction

Today, as I sit here and reflect upon my past, I find myself overwhelmed with a whirlwind of emotions. The choices I made, the path that led me to where I am now; it is all so deeply intertwined with who I have become. Within the confines of this journal entry, dear reader, allow me to share with you the story of my tumultuous journey through life.

Childhood: A Fragile Innocence Shattered

As a child growing up within the walls of Paradis Island's district known as Liberio, innocence was an ephemeral state that could be snatched away in an instant. It was during these formative years that violence first seeped into my consciousness like poison infiltrating every fiber of my being. The Marleyan authorities trained us Eldian children mercilessly in preparation for our eventual destiny - becoming warriors tasked with reclaiming their stolen power from those conniving devils beyond our walls.

Training Grounds: Forging My Body and Mind

The rigorous training regimen we underwent at Marley's Warrior Academy etched itself permanently into every sinew and synapse within me. Day after day was filled with physical exertion meant to mold us into formidable soldiers capable of executing any command without hesitation or remorse.

In combat simulations against fellow cadets – some friends while others mere competitors – each strike landed became a testament to survival instinct honed by fear and desperation alike. Bloodied fists met flesh over and over again until bones cracked beneath unyielding force or surrender finally found respite in defeat's embrace.

But amidst this brutality lay moments when camaraderie blossomed amidst adversity; bonds forged amid shared pain transcending mere comradeship towards something akin to family — albeit one born out of necessity rather than choice.

Transformation: Unveiling My Titan Form

Upon reaching adolescence came the fateful day when we received our inheritance—the ability to transform into Titans. An eldritch power that lay dormant within us, waiting to be awakened and unleashed upon the world outside our walls.

The first time I felt my human form melding with the raw energy of a Titan was akin to being reborn into a nightmare. The sensation of muscles expanding, bones cracking and reforming, as if my very essence were mutating into something monstrous yet undeniably powerful.

It is difficult for me not to recoil at the memory; an indescribable transformation that left me feeling both exhilarated by newfound strength while haunted by visions of devastation wrought in its wake.

Ethical Dilemmas: Shades of Gray

As one might expect, dear reader, life as a Warrior was never black or white but rather an unending kaleidoscope of shades-of-gray moral quandaries. We Eldians were pawns in Marley's grand scheme – tools used to maintain control over their empire through fear and manipulation.

Infiltration: Masking My True Intentions

One particular task required me to infiltrate Paradis Island under false pretenses—to blend seamlessly among those who would soon fall prey to our machinations. It was during this mission that I assumed the guise of a Survey Corps member named Annie Leonhart—an identity bestowed upon me like armor against suspicion or detection.

Each interaction with these so-called "Island Devils" forced introspection upon myself—a constant battle between loyalty towards Marleyan authority versus empathy ignited by witnessing genuine camaraderie within humanity's most desperate confines. These emotions threatened at every turn—moments when cracks formed within well-crafted facade revealing glimpses beneath veneer cold detachment—a glimmer hope buried deep amidst layers subterfuge constructed around true self long forgotten until now...

Humanity Within Walls: Unforeseen Connections

Perhaps it is worth noting here - though only whisper shall escape lips bound secrecy - about certain individuals encountered behind Wall Sina's towering defenses. As Annie Leonhart, I witnessed firsthand the indomitable spirit of Eren Jaeger and his comrades who fought with unwavering resolve against Titans that plagued their world.

In those fleeting moments where our paths crossed, a seed of doubt took root within me–a nagging question that grew louder by each passing day: Were these "Island Devils" truly deserving of annihilation? A notion so contrary to everything Marley had instilled in my psyche; yet impossible to ignore when confronted with such unyielding determination masked beneath fragile exteriors.

Self-Discovery: Unraveling My True Identity

As time wore on and events unfolded like pages turning in an ancient tome, the walls closing around me revealed more than mere physical barriers. They became metaphors for emotional fortresses constructed over years spent as a dutiful pawn—walls erected not only to protect secrets but also hide from introspection peering into depths self long forgotten or abandoned entirely.

The Female Titan: Embodying My Power

The emergence of the Female Titan marked a pivotal moment—a catalyst forcing reflection upon choices made amidst chaos swirling outside walls Paradis Island – choices forever etched into narrative weaved throughout history itself. This form embodied latent potential suppressed beneath layers indoctrination—a vessel capable shaping destinies far beyond scope single individual even comprehend...

But dear reader, let it be known -such power does not come without consequences both personal and profound which must now be faced head-on lest they consume soul whole leaving naught behind save hollow shell bereft purpose or meaning...

Captivity Within Walls: An Unexpected Revelation

It was during my captivity within hermetically sealed crystal cocoon deep below surface Earth where revelation struck chords discordant resonance—one shattering illusions painted reality since youth shattered fragments scattered wind borne whispers revelations whispered through ether space-time continuum intertwining past present future coalescing singular point consciousness realization dawned with all subtlety sledgehammer crushing identity beneath weight revelation—an Eldian warrior fighting those she once called brethren...

Conclusion: An Unending Journey

Dear reader, as I conclude this journal entry and gaze upon the words


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