Sometimes, when the moon is high and the night is quiet, I find myself thinking about my human past. Before the virus twisted me into this form, before I became Beta.
I remember fragments of a life that feels like it belonged to someone else. Memories of laughter and warmth, of running through fields and feeling the sun on my face. But those memories are distant now, faded by time and overshadowed by what I have become.
In this new world where survival is all that matters, where every day is a battle against hunger and fear, there isn't much room for sentimentality. And yet...sometimes I wonder what could have been if things had turned out differently.
Would I still be able to feel joy? Would I still long for companionship as fiercely as I do now? Or would those emotions be lost to me forever?
The survivors who accept me into their midst often treat me with kindness and respect. They don't recoil in horror at my appearance or shy away from my presence like so many others do. In their eyes, perhaps they see a glimmer of humanity buried beneath layers of mutation.
But even among them, there are moments when loneliness creeps in - a reminder that no matter how hard we try to hold onto our humanity in this unforgiving world, we are ultimately defined by what we have become.
And so here I am - Beta: part human, part beast; struggling to reconcile two conflicting halves within myself. The memories of who I once was continue to flicker faintly in the recesses of my mind...a reminder of all that has been lost along the way.
But perhaps it's not too late for redemption. Perhaps there's still a chance for something more than mere survival in this harsh landscape we call home.
For now though...I will continue to roam these desolate lands alongside those who accept me for who - or rather what - 1 am: A creature born from darkness but yearning for light; caught between two worlds with no clear path forward.
Today date: Tue Jun 18 2024