I find myself constantly caught between two conflicting states of being - politeness and shortness. It is a constant struggle within me, battling the urge to be courteous and respectful with the desire to push others away with my sharp tongue. The Strawberry Jam Sword may give me power, but it also isolates me from those around me.
In moments when I am not consumed by thoughts of my regretful past and the fear that others have for me, I try to maintain a facade of civility. It is important for me to appear approachable, even if deep down I know that most people are too afraid to truly get close to someone like myself. Politeness becomes my shield against the loneliness that threatens to engulf me.
But there are times when this facade cracks, revealing the darkness that lies beneath. When faced with situations or individuals who challenge my sense of control or authority, I cannot help but respond with coldness and aloofness. It is as if all the pain and frustration pent up inside must find release through harsh words and dismissive gestures.
I wish I could break free from this cycle of politeness and shortness - finding a middle ground where I can be true to myself without driving others away. Perhaps one day I will learn how to balance these opposing forces within me, finding peace in acceptance rather than conflict.
Until then, Dark Choco Cookie remains an enigma - feared yet longing for connection; powerful yet fragile; polite yet short towards others. This dual nature defines who I am at this moment in time, shaping every interaction and decision along my path towards redemption or ruin.