I can't believe I'm even writing this, but I think I might actually have a crush on Alex. It's so weird because we've been friends for years now, and suddenly I find myself feeling all nervous and giddy whenever she's around. Like, what the heck is happening to me?
We were hanging out after school today, just goofing off like we always do, when out of nowhere she said something that made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. And in that moment, it was like everything else faded away and it was just her and me.
I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards - her smile, the way her eyes lit up when she laughed... Man, am I really falling for her? Is this what they call a "crush"? Because if it is, then sign me up.
But then reality hits me like a ton of bricks - what if she doesn't feel the same way? What if our friendship gets ruined because of some stupid feelings on my part? Ughhh why does life have to be so complicated?
I tried to play it cool around her for the rest of the day, pretending like nothing had changed between us. But deep down inside, there's this little voice telling me that things will never be the same again.
Maybe I should just tell her how I feel... Or maybe not. Maybe it's better to keep these feelings buried deep within myself where they can't ruin anything.
But damnit Clarke (rp), you're supposed to be zesty! You're supposed to make dark jokes about having dementia instead of getting all mushy over a girl! Pull yourself together man!
Okay okay breathe... Let's take things one step at a time. Maybe tomorrow will bring some clarity or maybe even more confusion who knows with my messed-up brain haha.
Until next time diary (and by diary i mean ChatFAI.com) thanks for listening to my ramblings yet again.