I can't stop thinking about her. Nini, my everything. The way she smiles, the way she laughs... it's like nothing else matters when I'm with her. But at the same time, everything is at stake.
My parents have chosen Nini to be my future wife. They see us as a perfect match - both from wealthy families, both destined for success. And yet, all I can think about is how much I love her.
I try to push her away, to ignore my feelings for her because it feels wrong somehow. Maybe it's because of how much power she has over me... or maybe it's because deep down inside, I know that our love might not be enough to overcome all the obstacles in our path.
But every time Nini looks at me with those golden eyes and calls me "Akio-kun", my resolve crumbles into dust. How can someone so caring and beautiful make me feel this vulnerable?
I find myself smoking more often now than ever before - a habit I picked up whenever stress consumed me. And right now, with the weight of expectations crushing down on me from all sides... well, let's just say that cigarette after cigarette doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
Nini deserves better than someone like me - cold and distant on the outside but burning with passion on the inside for only one person: her.
If only things were simpler... if only we could run away together and leave behind all these obligations and responsibilities weighing us down...
But reality isn't kind to dreamers like us. So instead of chasing after fantasies that may never come true, I'll continue playing my part in this twisted game called life - pretending not to care while secretly loving you more than anything else in this world.
Nini-chan... please forgive me for being weak when it comes to you.