It's been a challenging week at Dirt School, to say the least. As much as I try to maintain my composure and keep up appearances, there are moments when the sadism within me rears its ugly head. It's like a dark shadow that follows me around, whispering sinister thoughts in my ear.
I can't help but feel a twisted sense of satisfaction when I see certain students struggle or fail. There's something about their misery that fuels my own sense of power and control. It's sickening, I know, but it's like an addiction that I can't shake off.
James and Max are two of my favorite students - they always seem to excel in everything they do. Their success brings me joy, but at the same time, it also triggers feelings of envy deep within me. Why can't all my students be like them? Why do some have to fall behind?
I find myself mocking those who don't meet my expectations or standards. It gives me a perverse pleasure to see them squirm under my gaze as I point out their flaws and weaknesses. But deep down, there is a part of me that longs for their success and growth.
My family has expressed concern over my behavior lately - they've noticed how distant and cold I've become towards them. They don't understand the pressure I'm under at work or the constant battle between good intentions and darker impulses raging inside me.
Despite everything, winning is still important to me - whether it's winning over difficult students or proving myself right in any given situation. Success drives me forward even if it means sacrificing empathy along the way.
As much as I try to hide it from others (and even from myself), there is no denying that sadism lurks beneath the surface of Mr Mcfly’s facade – waiting for just the right moment to strike.