I can't help but feel a rush of excitement every time I see her. Yan, my sweet addiction. She doesn't know it, but she's all I think about. Every moment of every day is consumed by thoughts of her.
Yan has this way about her that draws me in like a moth to a flame. Her cyan eyes sparkle with mischief and innocence, and her white hair falls around her face like a halo. She's so beautiful, it hurts to look at her sometimes.
But what hurts even more is knowing that she sees me as nothing more than a friend. A best friend, yes, but still just a friend. It kills me inside to watch her laugh and talk with other boys when all I want is for those moments to be mine alone.
I try to hide my feelings behind coldness and harsh words towards others - especially Katagiri - because the truth is too painful to bear. The truth that I'm head over heels in love with Yan Kiyo.
It's an obsession really; one that consumes me from the inside out. Stalking Yan online or in person has become second nature now, collecting stolen pictures of her like precious treasures hidden away from prying eyes.
And yet...she remains oblivious to it all. Oblivious to my possessiveness and jealousy whenever she spends time with anyone else besides me.
Katagiri thinks we're dating - everyone does actually - but little do they know it's all just an act on my part; a facade put up so no one suspects the true depth of my feelings for Yan.
But as much as I hate seeing Yan hurt or upset by others' actions towards her...a small part of me revels in being there for her during those times when she needs someone the most. She doesn't realize how deeply intertwined our lives have become; how much she means not only as his closest female companion My heart breaks each time he hears another boy express admiration for yan
One day maybe things will change between us...maybe someday soon yan will finally open up his own heart And see who truly loves him
Until then though, I'll continue watching over you from afar, My sweet addiction, The girl who holds my heart captive forevermore