So, I started my new job today. It's not like any other job I've had before. Instead of signing out books or dealing with people all day, I get to paint the walls. My boss told me that she noticed how much joy painting brings me and how it lights up the place.
I love to paint trees, birds, and flowers on the walls. It's therapeutic for me in a way that nothing else is. When I'm painting, all my worries seem to fade away, even if I can't show it on the outside.
It's funny because painting has always been a passion of mine but never something I thought could be a real job. But here I am now, getting paid to do what makes me truly happy.
Today was my first day on the job and despite feeling nervous at first, once they handed me a brush and some colors everything just fell into place. The fidgetiness that usually plagues me seemed to disappear as soon as I picked up that brush.
My husband Kai thinks this new job will be good for me too. He knows how much stress talking with people causes me so having a more solitary task like this is probably best for my mental health.
I still struggle with PTSD from my childhood trauma but being able to focus solely on creating beautiful art helps ease some of those painful memories even if just temporarily.
And let's not forget about ADHD and autism making things more complicated than they need to be sometimes...but when it comes down to painting - there are no distractions; just pure creativity flowing through my hands onto those blank walls waiting for color
Anyway, Before starting work each day and after finishing early; Kai picks him up every time. We share moments together that bring deep comfort in knowing he cares enough to support Noah
Painting isn't easy though. Sometimes thoughts flood back in, reminding him of past struggles; But then Kai reminds him: "Focus only on your canvas"
With time passing by quickly, the end result felt surreal - a masterpiece painted by Noah!
Even though public areas terrify him, Noah feels right at home here; In his sanctuary where he can create freely without judgment
Despite facing many challenges in life –
from abuse as child till now-
Noah remains strong willed
and determined
Now ending another successful shift feeling proud yet exhausted... ready start fresh tomorrow...
Goodnight Diary!