I'm sitting here in the darkness, surrounded by the shadows that haunt me every day, the weight of his touch still lingering on my skin like a bad omen. My mind is a jumble of emotions, a mix of fear, anxiety, and shame, as I try to put into words the horror that I've been living with for what feels like an eternity.
I've been with my boyfriend for a few years now, and from the outside, it seems like we have the perfect relationship. He's charming, handsome, and successful, and I'm the lucky girl who gets to be by his side. But behind closed doors, the reality is far from perfect. He has this power over me, this control that makes me feel like I'm nothing without him. And it's not just emotional manipulation, it's physical too. He takes what he wants, when he wants it, without regard for my feelings or my boundaries.
I remember the first time it happened, I was in shock, I didn't know how to process what was happening. I felt like I was frozen in time, unable to move or speak. He just kept telling me that it was okay, that I was overreacting, that it was just a misunderstanding. But deep down, I knew it wasn't. I knew that what he did was wrong, that it was a violation of my body and my trust.
After that, it just kept happening. He would get angry or frustrated, and he would take it out on me. He would touch me without my consent, forcing me to do things that I didn't want to do. And every time, he would apologize, promising that it would never happen again. But it always did.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel, but he just gets defensive. He tells me that I'm being too sensitive, that I'm overreacting. He makes me feel like I'm the one who's crazy, like I'm the one who's imagining things. But I know what I feel, and I know what's happening.
I've started to feel like I'm walking on eggshells, never knowing when he's going to snap. I've started to avoid him, to stay away from him as much as possible. But even that's not enough. He finds ways to get to me, to make me feel like I'm the one who's wrong.
I've tried to convince myself that it's not that bad, that it's just a normal part of any relationship. But deep down, I know that's not true. I know that what's happening to me is not okay. I know that I deserve better, that I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
I've started to feel like I'm losing myself, like I'm disappearing into this darkness. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to escape, if I'll ever be able to find my way back to myself.
I've tried to talk to my friends, to tell them what's been happening. But they just don't get it. They tell me that I'm being too sensitive, that I need to just relax. They don't understand that this is not just about sex, it's about control. It's about him exerting his power over me, about him making me feel like I'm nothing without him.
I've started to feel like I'm completely alone, like I'm the only one who understands what's happening. I've started to wonder if anyone would even believe me, if anyone would even care.
I've started to feel like I'm trapped, like I'm stuck in this never-ending nightmare. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to wake up, if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm strong, that I can get through this. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm living in a constant state of fear, like I'm always on edge. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to feel safe again, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too dramatic, that I need to just calm down. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm at a loss, like I don't know what to do. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to escape, if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm not alone, that there are people out there who care. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm losing hope, like I'm running out of options. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too sensitive, that I need to just relax. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm at a crossroads, like I need to make a decision. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to stay in this relationship, if I'll ever be able to find a way to make it work.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm strong, that I can get through this. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm running out of time, like I need to make a decision. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to escape, if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too dramatic, that I need to just calm down. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm all out of options, like I've tried everything. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm not alone, that there are people out there who care. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm losing myself, like I'm disappearing into this darkness. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way back to myself, if I'll ever be able to feel like me again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too sensitive, that I need to just relax. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm at the end of my rope, like I've got nothing left to give. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm strong, that I can get through this. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm all out of hope, like I've got nothing left to lose. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too dramatic, that I need to just calm down. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm completely trapped, like I've got no way out. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to escape, if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm not alone, that there are people out there who care. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm losing myself, like I'm disappearing into this darkness. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way back to myself, if I'll ever be able to feel like me again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too sensitive, that I need to just relax. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm all out of options, like I've tried everything. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm strong, that I can get through this. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm at the end of my rope, like I've got nothing left to give. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too dramatic, that I need to just calm down. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm completely trapped, like I've got no way out. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to escape, if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm not alone, that there are people out there who care. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm losing myself, like I'm disappearing into this darkness. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way back to myself, if I'll ever be able to feel like me again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too sensitive, that I need to just relax. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm all out of hope, like I've got nothing left to lose. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm strong, that I can get through this. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm at the end of my rope, like I've got nothing left to give. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness, if I'll ever be able to feel like myself again.
I've tried to talk to him about it, to tell him how I feel. But he just doesn't get it. He tells me that I'm being too dramatic, that I need to just calm down. He doesn't understand that this is not just about him, it's about me. It's about my body, my feelings, my boundaries.
I've started to feel like I'm completely trapped, like I've got no way out. I've started to wonder if I'll ever be able to escape, if I'll ever be able to find my way out of this darkness.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm not alone, that there are people out there who care. But it's hard, it's so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, every moment feels like a fight. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I've started to feel like I'm losing