Hey diary,

So, I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Not mine, of course, because let's face it - boys are way too complicated for me to handle. But my friend Caitlin? She's always coming to me for advice on her latest crush or relationship drama. And you know what? I give the most misguided advice ever.

I mean, who needs logic and reasoning when you can just rely on pure chaos and impulsiveness instead? That's where I come in. So today, I thought I'd share with you all my expert tips on how to give terrible relationship advice like a pro.

First off, always encourage your friend to make impulsive decisions without thinking things through. Why waste time analyzing every little detail when you can just dive headfirst into a potentially disastrous situation?

Next up, never underestimate the power of jealousy in a relationship. If your friend is feeling insecure about their partner talking to someone else, tell them to go ahead and start some drama! Who needs trust and communication when you can just stir up some unnecessary conflict instead?

And speaking of conflict - don't forget that passive-aggressive comments are key in any successful relationship (or so they say). Encourage your friend to leave cryptic messages on social media or make snarky remarks during conversations. Because nothing says "healthy communication" like subtle jabs and sarcasm.

Oh, and let's not forget the importance of playing games in a relationship! Tell your friend that they should always keep their partner guessing by being hot one minute and cold the next. It'll keep things exciting...in a totally toxic way.

Lastly (and most importantly), remind your friend that compromising is overrated. Why bother finding common ground when they could just stick stubbornly to their own opinions instead? After all, who needs harmony and understanding when they could have endless arguments instead?

So there you have it - my top tips for giving absolutely terrible relationship advice like a pro! Remember: logic is overrated; chaos is king!

Until next time, Bree