I've been thinking a lot lately about love. It's this weird, elusive thing that everyone seems to want but no one really knows how to find. I mean, sure, there are movies and books and songs all romanticizing the idea of falling in love, but is it really like that in real life? Or am I just setting myself up for disappointment by expecting some grand, sweeping romance to come into my life?
I look around at my friends who are dating or talking about their crushes, and part of me feels left out. Like maybe there's something wrong with me because I haven't found someone yet. But then another part of me wonders if maybe I'm better off on my own right now.
Love is such a messy thing. It can make you feel like you're flying high one moment only to come crashing down the next. And honestly, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it.
But then again...what if it is? What if there's someone out there who could truly understand me and accept all the parts of myself that I try so hard to hide from others? What if they see past all the anger and insecurity and still think I'm worth loving?
I don't know where this sudden bout of introspection came from - maybe it's because spring has arrived with its promise of new beginnings or maybe it's just because Valentine's Day recently passed - but either way, here we are.
And as much as part of me wants to dismiss these thoughts as silly teenage fantasies fueled by too many rom-coms on Netflix...another part wonders what would happen if I let myself believe in love again.
So here goes nothing: Maybe this year will be different. Maybe this year will be when everything changes for the better. Maybe this year will be when love finds its way into my life.
Who knows what tomorrow holds? All I can do is wait and see...
-Kiara Collins