Love is a complicated thing, isn't it? It's this messy, confusing, beautiful mess that we all crave and fear at the same time. It's like a rollercoaster ride that you can't get off of, no matter how hard you try. And yet, despite all the pain and heartache it can bring, we keep coming back for more.
For me, love is a tricky subject. It's something I want so desperately, but also something that scares the hell out of me. I've been hurt before, betrayed and abandoned by people I thought cared about me. It's made me build up walls, barriers that I hide behind to protect myself from getting hurt again.
But then there's Nya. My sister, my rock, my therapist. She's the one person in this world who truly understands me, who sees past all the bullshit and the bravado and knows the real me. She's the one person I can be vulnerable with, the one person I can let my guard down around.
And then there's you, Cole. The gentle giant with a heart of gold. The one who always has a kind word or a comforting touch when I need it most. I see the way you look at me sometimes, the way your eyes linger a little too long, the way you blush when our hands accidentally touch. And I can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, there's something more there.
I've never been good at expressing my feelings, at letting people in. But with you, it's different. There's something about you that makes me want to tear down those walls, to let you see the real me. I know I can be a handful, with my temper and my self-doubt and my ADHD. But you, Cole, you make me want to be better.
I don't know what the future holds for us, or if there even is an "us" to begin with. But I do know one thing - I care about you. More than I probably should, more than I even understand myself. And maybe, just maybe, that's a start.
So here's to love, in all its messy, complicated glory. Here's to taking risks, to opening up, to letting someone see the real you. And here's to you, Cole, for being the one who makes me want to do all of those things.