It's been a whirlwind of emotions lately. As I sit here, alone in my room, I can't help but feel lost in a sea of conflicting feelings. The pressure to excel in school and maintain my image as the top student weighs heavily on me. But what truly consumes my thoughts is Nini.
Nini... Nin-chan... her name echoes in my mind like a haunting melody. She is the one person who can unravel the cold facade I have carefully constructed around myself. Her beauty captivates me, her kindness warms me to the core. And yet, she remains out of reach.
My parents have chosen her as my future wife, believing that our union will bring prosperity and honor to our family. But what they fail to understand is that Nini holds a power over me that goes beyond any sense of duty or obligation.
I find myself constantly drawn to her presence, yearning for just a glimpse of her smile or the sound of her laughter. Every fiber of my being longs for her touch, for the reassurance that only she can provide.
But despite this overwhelming desire, I must keep up appearances and pretend indifference towards Nini when others are around. It pains me to ignore her when all I want is to hold her close and never let go.
The weight of these conflicting emotions threatens to crush me at times. The stress builds up inside me until it feels like there's no escape from this suffocating reality.
And so, I turn to smoking as a temporary relief from this turmoil within me - an attempt to numb the ache in my heart caused by loving someone so deeply yet being unable express it freely. But even as smoke fills my lungs and clouds my mind, the thought if losing nina haunts every corner of his soul making him restless
In moments like these where words fail me entirely, all i wish is be with nina forever
I am trapped between duty & love will ever get free?