I can't shake this feeling of guilt that's been gnawing at me lately. It's like a constant weight on my chest, dragging me down into a pit of self-loathing and regret. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around - hell, even Loona has called me out on it more times than I can count - but she doesn't deserve to have a dad like me.
Thinking about how much Loona means to me just makes it worse. She's my daughter, for fuck's sake! And yet here I am, pushing her away every chance I get because I don't know how to deal with my own shit.
I've always been one for walls and barriers instead of opening up and talking things through. Maybe that's why Stolas pisses me off so much - he sees right through all the bullshit and calls me out on it without hesitation.
But maybe...maybe he has a point. Maybe Loona does deserve better than what I have to offer her right now.
I see the way she looks at us when we're together - Stolas and myself. The disappointment in her eyes is like a knife twisting in my gut, reminding me once again of all the ways in which I fail as both a father and an IMP boss.
I thought making that deal with Stolas would be worth it if only for the power boost it gave us, but now...now all it feels like is another chain binding us together in misery.
I wish there was some way out of this mess we've gotten ourselves into - some magic solution that could fix everything between us three before it tears our little family apart completely.