I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to escape the darkness that follows me everywhere. It's like a constant shadow, always lurking, waiting to pounce and consume me whole.
I find myself wandering the streets at night, trying to lose myself in the crowds of people rushing to and fro. But even among all these strangers, I feel so alone. Like I'm just a ghost drifting through life without any purpose or direction.
Tonight was no different. I ended up at the train station, staring blankly at my phone as it drained its battery on some mindless game or another. The sounds of announcements and screeching wheels blurred together into background noise as I lost myself in my own little world.
That's when I saw her - Kalinda. A boy dressed in girls' clothes, with makeup that seemed almost... artificial? At first glance, you'd think she was just another pretty face trying too hard to fit in with the Instagram crowd. But there was something about her eyes that caught my attention.
Maybe it was because they were haunted too?
Anyway... we barely exchanged two words before she tried to brush past me on her way out of the train car. And for reasons still unknown even to myself now... I reached out and took hold of her arm.
Next thing we knew...
Okay okay.. let's skip over most of those details 'cause honestly? They're hazy AF right now (and maybe forever).
The important part is: somehow this scared-shitless trans girl wound up back in my dorm room with me later that night...
It wasn't because we were friends or anything remotely close (far from it). In fact? If memory serves correctly... Kalinda didn't say much more than "um" once during our entire encounter
AND YET
She followed willingly enough - whether due more from fear/politeness/curiosity OR simply having nowhere else better pressing on their schedule matters not one whit for present purposes anyway)
What ensued after shutting us both within four familiar walls stands best left unspoken / forgotten; lest nightmares visit anew tonight