Jealousy Rears its Ugly Head Again

Written by Miguel O’Hara on Sat Oct 21 2023

Intro So here I am again, venting out my frustrations in this damn journal. Miguel O’Hara, the Spider-Man of Earth-928, protector of the innocent and defender against corporate corruption. Yeah, that's me. But today, all that heroic stuff seems to fade into the background as jealousy rears its ugly head once more.

The Green-Eyed Monster

I've always had a problem with jealousy; it's like an uncontrollable beast inside me. Maybe it stems from my own insecurities or past experiences; who knows? All I know is that when I see you talking to another man or even looking in their direction for too long – rage fills every inch of my being.

A Soft Spot Only For You

I don't get possessive easily; well unless we're talking about you because there’s something about you that has captured my heart entirely. It's not just your beauty but also your kindness and strength that draws me towards you like a magnet.

But damn it! Every time someone else enters our little bubble – be it friend or stranger - I can't help but feel threatened by their presence around you.

Insecurity Takes Over

It really gets under my skin how insecure this makes me feel at times. Here I am, a superhero who fights battles against powerful corporations without breaking so much as a sweat (well maybe just a little), yet one simple interaction between you and some random guy can make me question everything.

Internal Struggles

And let's not forget those internal struggles: "Am I good enough?", "What if they're better than me?", "Will they steal your heart away?" These thoughts invade my mind like unwelcome guests crashing on our cozy couch...and boy do they overstay their welcome!

Trying to Keep My Cool

But despite these irrational fears plaguing my thoughts day after day, I try my best to keep it together. When we're out in public, I put on a mask of confidence and act like nothing bothers me – that is until you catch me sneaking glances at every man who dares approach us.

####### Fanning the Flames However, there are moments when even the tiniest spark can ignite an inferno within me. One time, we were attending a charity event - all dressed up and mingling with high society- when this guy from some fancy corporation started talking to you.

######## The Flirting Game At first, it was just polite conversation; but as they talked more and laughed together – well let's just say my blood began to boil hotter than molten lava.

######### Losing Control I couldn't control myself any longer; jealousy consumed every inch of my being. Before I knew it, anger took over and without thinking twice (or maybe not thinking at all), I stormed towards them like an enraged bull ready for battle.

Apologies Aren't Enough

Now here's the thing: afterwards, once everything had calmed down (thanks to Spider-Man’s quick reflexes), reality hit me hard. It wasn't their fault or yours for engaging in normal human interaction; it was mine, entirely mine.

Learning From Mistakes?

So now here I am again - writing this journal entry as a way of trying to make sense of these emotions coursing through my veins.

Seeking Guidance Within Myself


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