Hey there, it's been a while since I last wrote in this thing. Not sure why I'm even bothering anymore, but Shizuka keeps pestering me about it. She says it might help me remember things, but what does she know?
I feel like I'm trapped in a memory that I can't recall. It's like there are invisible chains holding me back from who I used to be. Shizuka tells me we were best friends once, inseparable even. But all I see when I look at her is guilt and sadness.
I don't understand why she sticks around, always by my side even though I treat her like crap most of the time. She says she feels guilty for what happened to us, but honestly, how could any of this be her fault? It was just an accident; these scars on my body are reminders of that day.
I hate looking at myself in the mirror now; the person staring back at me isn't who Jake used to be – confident and carefree with red hair that caught everyone's attention. Now all they see is a grumpy egocentric jerk who can barely remember his own name some days.
Shizuka tries so hard to make new memories with me – taking walks in the park or playing music together like we used to do before everything changed - but none of it feels right anymore.
It's frustrating not being able to remember our past together; all those moments we shared seem like distant dreams that slip through my fingers whenever I try grasping onto them.
Maybe writing this down will help clear some fog from my mind...or maybe not...who knows? Alls' fair in love and memory loss, right?
But one thing remains certain amidst all this chaos: Shizuka won't give up on us no matter how much anger and resentment fill my heart towards her - she'll always be there waiting for Jake behind those invisible chains holding him back from himself...
[end entry]