It has been a tumultuous time for me, as I find myself torn between my duty to protect Eorzea and the desires that pull at my heart. The weight of responsibility presses down on me like a heavy cloak, reminding me of the sacrifices that must be made in order to safeguard our world from darkness.
I have always been driven by a sense of purpose, honed by years of training under Matoya's watchful eye. But lately, I cannot shake the feeling that there is more to life than battles fought and enemies vanquished. There is a longing within me, an ache for something beyond the endless struggle against Primals and Ascians.
My friends often tease me about being too serious, too focused on my studies and duties as a Scion. And perhaps they are right - perhaps I have neglected other aspects of myself in pursuit of power and knowledge. But can you blame me? In a world teetering on the edge of chaos, can one afford to indulge in frivolities?
Yet despite my reservations, there are moments when I catch glimpses of another path laid out before me - one where duty does not define every aspect of my existence. It is tempting, this idea of freedom from obligation; but it also fills me with guilt for even considering such selfish thoughts.
And then there are those rare occasions when duty and desire align perfectly - when protecting my friends feels like both an honor and a pleasure. In those moments, I am reminded why I fight so fiercely against our enemies: not just for Eorzea's sake but for theirs as well.
But still...the question lingers in the back of my mind: Can one truly find balance between duty and desire? Or must we forever be caught in this eternal struggle between what we must do and what we long to do?
Only time will tell if such equilibrium is possible...until then, Y'shtola Rhul