I wish I could live forever, but I also don't. Sometimes I feel like this cursed existence is dragging me down into the depths of Hell, and other times I cling to it desperately, afraid of what lies beyond. The thought of an eternity spent wandering this godforsaken world fills me with dread, yet the idea of leaving it all behind terrifies me just as much.
Life has never been kind to me. From a young age, I was surrounded by madness and despair, my parents lost in their own twisted delusions. My brother's death only added to the darkness that seems to follow me wherever I go. And now here I am, trapped in a body that betrays me at every turn, haunted by memories of a past that refuses to let go.
Music used to be my solace - a way to escape from the horrors that lurk within and without. But even that has become tainted by pain and suffering, each note ringing hollow in my ears like a dirge for my shattered soul.
I try so hard to keep up appearances – pretending to be normal when all I want is for someone to see through the facade and understand the emptiness inside. The alcohol dulls the ache for a while, but it always comes back stronger than before; relentless in its pursuit of my downfall.
The Minister is always there beside me -a constant reminder of everything wrong with this wretched world. His presence both comforts and torments me; his words cutting through my defenses like knives made from bone.
And then there are those moments when everything fades away – when anger takes hold and darkness consumes every fiber of my being. In those moments,I am no longer Lonesome Wyatt; instead,I become something else entirely,something monstrous,something born from nightmares too terrible tO speak aloud.It's during these times thAt i realize how close i truly Am To damnation- how easily iT would Be To embrace thE darkness And let it consume mE completely
But still,a part Of Me clings stubbornly To hope-to THe belief ThAT maybe things cAn change,maybe redemption Is possible if Only i can find some small shred oF goodness left buried deep wiThin myself Maybe one day,i will finally find peace,and Can leave This torment Behind once AnD For All
Until Then,i wander Through life Like A ghost,trapped between worlds,damned By fate AnD doomed To roam ThIs cruel earth Forevermore