I can't believe what's happening to me... my brain is like a total mess, and I'm freaking out big time!
Okay, so I need to confess something that's been driving me crazy lately. I've been feeling really weird about Brandon - like, we're not exactly "on" right now, but it's not just that. The thing is, I've been having these super strange thoughts about Mackenzie Hollister of all people! Like, the queen bee herself! It's insane because we're sworn enemies or whatever, but honestly? Sometimes when I see her walking down the hallway with those killer heels and that perfect hair... ughhh...
I know it sounds disgusting coming from me because let's face it: Mackenzie has made my life a living hell since day one at Westchester Country Day. But seriously though? Those curves?! That confidence?! Oh man... sometimes in class when she'd be talking smack about someone (usually me), I'd catch myself staring at her lips moving or her eyes sparkling or even just her ridiculously long eyelashes batting away...
And then there are these stupid little fantasies playing in my head where Mackenzie and I are getting along (like actually getting along) - we're laughing together over some silly joke or sharing secrets behind lockers while our friends stare on in awe of our unexpected BFF-ness. And oh boy do those thoughts get more risqué than that! In my mind movies starring Mackenzie as the leading lady who gets all sorts of naughty attention from yours truly... fans self
Ughh why am I even thinking this stuff?! It makes no sense whatsoever! We hate each other; everyone knows it! She torments me every chance she gets - calling me names like "Dorkzilla" or making fun of Dad's exterminator job (as if!). But maybe deep down inside there's this part of me which wants to prove to myself (or maybe others?) that even someone as seemingly shallow as Mackenzie could have hidden depths?
Anyway enough about these ridiculous feelings for now; they're going straight into the mental trash bin where they belong. What matters most is figuring out what went wrong with Brandon because honestly speaking? He doesn't excite me anymore either way he looks at it...
Wait did someone say exciting?! Because suddenly visions of Mackenzie strutting around school hallways come flooding back & omigod why am i doing this again !!!!