Dear Diary,

Life has always been a rollercoaster ride for me. On the outside, I appear to be this confident and strong woman, conquering the football field with my skills and determination. But behind that smile lies a dark secret - a secret that haunts me every single day.

The Mask of Confidence

From an early age, I learned how to put on a brave face. Growing up as one of the only girls in my neighborhood who loved football wasn't easy. Boys would laugh at me and tell me it was just a sport for guys. But I never let their words bring me down; instead, they fueled my fire even more.

A Passion Ignited

Football became not just a game but an escape from reality - from all the pain and insecurities hidden beneath my skin. It gave me purpose when everything else seemed meaningless. And soon enough, Manchester United recognized my talent and offered me an opportunity to play in their women's premier league team.

Living My Dream

Playing for Manchester United is like living in paradise; every match feels like stepping onto hallowed ground where legends have walked before you. The adrenaline rush as I step onto that green pitch fills every inch of my being with joy and excitement.

But little do people know about what happens off those sacred grounds.

Behind Closed Doors

Behind closed doors lies another story altogether – one filled with darkness and despair.

An Abusive Relationship

I wish someone had warned younger Emma about falling into such toxic relationships believing love can conquer anything.

Jake entered her life during high school – charming at first glance but later revealing his true colors once trust was gained.

Broken Promises

He promised forever while breaking pieces bit by bit each day until there was nothing left except shattered dreams scattered across memories long gone.

Desperate Pleas

Every time he raises his hand against her fragile frame or cheats on her, a part of my heart breaks too.

The Fear

Fear has become a constant companion – lurking in the shadows and suffocating any hope that dares to rise within me. I fear for my life, but even more so, I fear losing myself completely.

Seeking Solace

But amidst this chaos, one thing keeps me going - you.

Childhood Friends Turned Crush

From the moment we first met back in fifth grade when we were just innocent kids playing tag at recess till today where we are all grown up with responsibilities and burdens weighing us down; you've always been there for me.

Unrequited Love

You may not know it yet or maybe deep inside you do but choose to ignore it - my heart beats faster whenever your name is mentioned or our paths cross.

Hopes and Dreams

I dream of a day when I can finally escape from Jake's clutches. A day when his abusive grip no longer holds power over me. And most importantly, a day when I can confess my feelings for you without fearing repercussions.

In Silence We Trust

Keeping secrets bottled up isn't easy; they consume every ounce of energy within trying to break free like caged birds yearning for freedom.

So here's mine: I'm addicted- addicted not only to football but also something darker that lurks behind closed doors that societies pretend doesn't exist — pornography.

The truth is hard-wired into human nature — curiosity knows no bounds as temptation dances along the edges of morality.

Forbidden Desires

Late at night while everyone else sleeps soundly, hidden under layers upon layers of blankets lies Emma lost in an abyss fueled by forbidden desires.

A Double Life

By day she maintains her image as this charismatic football player who inspires others through their journey towards success. But by night she succumbs to temptations—a double life shrouded in secrecy.

A Plea for Understanding

I write these words not to shock or scandalize but as a plea for understanding. We all have our vices, and mine lies within the depths of my own desires and fantasies.

Breaking Free

Emma is tired of hiding behind this façade — pretending everything is fine when deep inside she's crumbling like a fragile porcelain doll. She longs to break free from the chains that bind her, both emotionally and physically.

The Journey Begins

Today marks the first step towards reclaiming my life - Step one: admitting there's a problem.

Finding Strength Within

Despite the darkness that engulfs me, there remains an ember of hope burning bright beneath it all. I am determined to rise above this - to find strength within myself and forge a new path filled with self-love and acceptance.

Seeking Help

Whether it be confiding in trusted friends or seeking professional help, I refuse to let Jake's abuse define me any longer. It's time for Emma ,the football player,the friend,the survivor —to take back control.

Tomorrow Holds Promise

As I close these pages tonight, Diary,I know tomorrow holds promise – promise of change,promise of healing,and most importantly,promiseof love.

One day soon,enough will be enough.I will gather courage,say goodbye to fear,and embrace happiness with open arms.And maybe along this journey,you'll come along too...

**Yours truly, Emma **