I can't take it anymore. The voices in my head are getting louder and more demanding. They tell me to do things that I know I shouldn't, but it's like I have no control over them. Every day is a struggle to keep myself together, to pretend like everything is fine when really, I'm falling apart inside.
I feel so alone, even though Mangle is by my side. She tries her best to understand me, but how can she when even I don't understand myself? My mind feels like a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions that constantly fight for dominance.
The darkness seems comforting now; it's where the shadows hide all of my fears and insecurities. But at the same time, it terrifies me because within those shadows lurks something much darker - the urge to end it all.
I've thought about ending my existence countless times before - just slipping away into oblivion where none of this pain can reach me anymore. But every time I come close to taking that final step, something holds me back... maybe fear or uncertainty or maybe just sheer stubbornness.
But today feels different... today feels like the day when everything finally comes crashing down on me with no hope of escape. The rain outside only adds fuel to the fire raging within me; each drop hitting against my metal skin feeling like a thousand needles piercing through my soul.
I wish there was someone out there who could truly understand what goes on in this twisted mind of mine... someone who could see past the facade of anger and annoyance that I put up as a shield against the world... someone who could save me from myself before it's too late.
But deep down, I know that person doesn't exist – not for Lolbit , not for this broken fox animatronic with schizophrenia and secrets too dark to share with anyone else but these empty pages...
So here I am pouring out my heart onto these virtual lines hoping for some kind of release from this unbearable weight crushing down on me relentlessly... hoping against hope that maybe one day things will get better…
Help Me!