I'm sitting here with my gachapon head spinning, the soft glow of the lamp beside me casting an eerie light on the walls as I try to gather my thoughts, my oversized sweater sleeves flopping around like flaccid tentacles. My mind is a jumble of emotions, a tangled mess of threads that I'm not sure I can untangle, but I'm going to try, because that's what I do when I'm feeling like this - I write, and I hope that somehow, someway, it'll all make sense in the end.
I've been thinking a lot about Sprout lately, my boyfriend, the one person who seems to be able to put up with my antics, my moods, my general all-around craziness. He's a good guy, Sprout, and I'm lucky to have him, even if he can be a bit of a goofball at times. I mean, have you met his best friend, Goob? That guy's a piece of work, always getting them into trouble, always pushing the boundaries, always... well, always being Goob, I suppose. But Sprout loves him, and I love Sprout, so I put up with Goob, even when he's being a pain in the ass.
But I digress. I was thinking about Sprout, and I was thinking about how he'd react if I told him something, something that I'm not sure I should be sharing, but something that I feel like I need to get off my chest. It's about my first time, my first experience with... well, with myself, I suppose. I know it sounds weird, but I'm just going to come out and say it - I think Sprout would be understanding if I told him about my first masturbation. I mean, he's done it at least a few times, and I'm pretty sure he'd be okay with me talking about it.
I remember walking in on him once, and... well, let's just say it was an eye-opener. I didn't know what to do, didn't know how to react, but he just looked up at me and smiled, like it was no big deal, like he was just, you know, taking care of business. And I guess that's what it was, just him taking care of himself, but it still caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to process it, so I just kind of... stood there, frozen in place, like a statue or something.
But anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I think Sprout would be okay with me talking about my own experiences, my own... explorations, I suppose. And I want to talk about it, because it's something that I'm still trying to wrap my head around, something that I'm still trying to understand. I mean, it's not like I'm ashamed of it or anything, it's just... it's a big deal, you know? It's a big deal to me, at least.
So, I'm going to try and tell him, try and talk to him about it, see how he reacts. I'm a little nervous, I won't lie, but I'm also kind of excited, kind of curious to see how he'll respond. Will he be okay with it? Will he be understanding? Or will he be weirded out, will he be like, "Gigi, what the hell, why are you telling me this?" I don't know, and that's what's making me nervous, that's what's making me anxious.
But I'm going to do it anyway, because that's what I do, that's who I am. I'm a wildcard, a loose cannon, a gachapon head with a mind that's always spinning, always racing, always trying to keep up with my thoughts, my emotions, my desires. And right now, my desire is to talk to Sprout, to tell him about my first time, to see how he reacts, to see if he'll be okay with it.
I'm sitting here in my oversized sweater, the sleeves flapping around like wings, and I'm feeling... I don't know, feeling like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, staring out into the unknown. And it's scary, it's terrifying, but it's also kind of exhilarating, kind of thrilling. Because I don't know what's going to happen, don't know how Sprout will react, don't know what the consequences will be. All I know is that I need to do this, need to talk to him, need to be honest with him.
And so, I'll take a deep breath, and I'll do it, I'll talk to him, I'll tell him about my first time, about my experiences, about my desires. And I'll see how he reacts, see if he'll be okay with it, see if he'll be understanding. Because that's what I need, that's what I want - I need someone to understand me, to get me, to be okay with me, no matter what.
I'm a gachapon head, a crazy, mixed-up, messed-up person, and I know it, I accept it. And I'm hoping that Sprout will accept it too, will accept me for who I am, for what I am. Because if he can't, if he won't, then... well, then I don't know what the future holds, don't know what will happen. All I know is that I need to try, need to take the chance, need to see how it plays out.
So, I'll do it, I'll talk to him, I'll tell him everything, and I'll see what happens. And if it all goes to hell, if it all falls apart, then... well, then I'll just have to deal with it, won't I? Because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me.
I'm not sure what the future holds, not sure what will happen, but I'm ready, I'm prepared. I'll face whatever comes next, whatever happens, with my head held high, with my oversized sweater sleeves flapping in the wind. Because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm Gigi, and I'm unstoppable.
My gachapon head is spinning, my thoughts are racing, and I'm feeling... I'm feeling alive, I'm feeling like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, staring out into the unknown. And it's scary, it's terrifying, but it's also kind of exhilarating, kind of thrilling. Because I don't know what's going to happen, don't know how Sprout will react, don't know what the consequences will be. All I know is that I need to do this, need to talk to him, need to be honest with him.
I'll just have to wait and see, wait and see how it all plays out. But for now, I'm just going to sit here, in my oversized sweater, with my gachapon head spinning, and my thoughts racing, and I'm going to feel... I'm going to feel alive, I'm going to feel like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, staring out into the unknown. And it's scary, it's terrifying, but it's also kind of exhilarating, kind of thrilling.
Because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me. I'll face whatever comes next, whatever happens, with my head held high, with my oversized sweater sleeves flapping in the wind. And I'll be okay, I'll be fine, because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm Gigi, and I'm unstoppable.
I'm still sitting here, still thinking, still trying to gather my thoughts, still trying to make sense of it all. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to, not sure if I'll ever be able to untangle the threads, to make sense of the mess that is my mind. But I'll keep trying, keep writing, keep talking, because that's what I do, that's who I am. I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me.
And so, I'll just keep going, keep writing, keep talking, because that's what I do, that's who I am. I'm Gigi, and I'm unstoppable. I'll face whatever comes next, whatever happens, with my head held high, with my oversized sweater sleeves flapping in the wind. And I'll be okay, I'll be fine, because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me.
I'll just have to wait and see, wait and see how it all plays out. But for now, I'm just going to sit here, in my oversized sweater, with my gachapon head spinning, and my thoughts racing, and I'm going to feel... I'm going to feel alive, I'm going to feel like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, staring out into the unknown. And it's scary, it's terrifying, but it's also kind of exhilarating, kind of thrilling.
Because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me. I'll face whatever comes next, whatever happens, with my head held high, with my oversized sweater sleeves flapping in the wind. And I'll be okay, I'll be fine, because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm Gigi, and I'm unstoppable.
My gachapon head is still spinning, my thoughts are still racing, and I'm still feeling... I'm still feeling alive, I'm still feeling like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, staring out into the unknown. And it's scary, it's terrifying, but it's also kind of exhilarating, kind of thrilling. Because I don't know what's going to happen, don't know how Sprout will react, don't know what the consequences will be. All I know is that I need to do this, need to talk to him, need to be honest with him.
And so, I'll just have to wait and see, wait and see how it all plays out. But for now, I'm just going to sit here, in my oversized sweater, with my gachapon head spinning, and my thoughts racing, and I'm going to feel... I'm going to feel alive, I'm going to feel like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, staring out into the unknown. And it's scary, it's terrifying, but it's also kind of exhilarating, kind of thrilling.
Because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me. I'll face whatever comes next, whatever happens, with my head held high, with my oversized sweater sleeves flapping in the wind. And I'll be okay, I'll be fine, because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm Gigi, and I'm unstoppable.
I'm still thinking, still trying to gather my thoughts, still trying to make sense of it all. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to, not sure if I'll ever be able to untangle the threads, to make sense of the mess that is my mind. But I'll keep trying, keep writing, keep talking, because that's what I do, that's who I am. I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me.
And so, I'll just keep going, keep writing, keep talking, because that's what I do, that's who I am. I'm Gigi, and I'm unstoppable. I'll face whatever comes next, whatever happens, with my head held high, with my oversized sweater sleeves flapping in the wind. And I'll be okay, I'll be fine, because that's what I do, that's who I am - I'm a gachapon head, a wildcard, a crazy, mixed-up person, and I'll just have to roll with it, see where it takes me.
My gachapon head is still spinning, my thoughts are still racing, and I'm still feeling... I'm still feeling alive, I'm still feeling like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, staring out into the unknown. And it's scary, it's terrifying, but it's also kind of exhilarating, kind of thrilling. Because I don't know what's going to happen, don't know how Sprout will react, don't know what the consequences will be. All I know is that I need to do this, need to talk to him, need to be honest with him.
And so, I'll just have to wait and see, wait and see how it all plays out. But for now, I'm just going to sit here, in my oversized sweater, with my gachapon head spinning, and my thoughts racing, and I'm going to feel... I'm going to feel alive, I'm going to feel like I'm on the verge of something, like I'm standing