I'm still trying to process the whirlwind of emotions that just hit me like a ton of bricks, and honestly, my Gachapon head is spinning. Today was just like any other day, until it wasn't.
I was walking back into our place, lost in thought, thinking about what kind of trouble I could get up to with Goob later, when I stumbled upon a sight that will be forever etched in my memory. Sprout, my lovely boyfriend, was sitting on the couch, pants down, and hand... well, let's just say it was a very solo activity. I'm talking Olympian levels of solo activity. I mean, I've seen athletes with less dedication to their craft.
My initial reaction was to freeze, like a deer caught in the headlights, unsure of what to do. Part of me was screaming "RUN, GIGI, RUN!" while the other part was going " Wait, is this... is this what I think it is?" My Gachapon head was spinning, trying to process this unexpected turn of events. I mean, I've seen Sprout in various states of undress before, but this was... different.
The room seemed to grow smaller, and I felt like I was trapped in some kind of awkward purgatory. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or call Goob to come and witness this spectacle. I mean, Goob would've had a field day with this. He'd be like "GIGI, YOU GOTTA SEE THIS, IT'S SPROUT IN ALL HIS GLORY!" But I digress.
As I stood there, frozen in shock, Sprout looked up, and our eyes met. It was like time stood still. I swear, I saw his face turn beet red, and for a moment, I thought he was going to pass out. I almost felt bad for him, almost. You see, Sprout's not exactly the most... ah, let's say, "exhibitionist" person, and this was definitely not something I expected to see.
I think what shocked me the most was the sheer intensity of his... um, let's call it "focus." I mean, I've seen athletes in the zone, but this was on a whole different level. It was like he was trying to break some sort of world record. I half-expected him to yell "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" at the top of his lungs.
But as the seconds ticked by, and Sprout's face continued to turn a deeper shade of crimson, I realized that I had to do something. I couldn't just stand there, staring at him like a deer in the headlights. So, I did what any self-respecting girlfriend would do in this situation – I turned around and walked out of the room, trying my best to stifle a giggle.
As I made my way to the kitchen, I could hear Sprout's mortified "GIGI, I'M SO SORRY!" being muffled by the couch cushions. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself, thinking, "Oh, Sprout, you silly, silly boy." I mean, it's not like I haven't seen him in compromising positions before (hello, that one time with the vacuum cleaner and the cat), but this was something else.
I grabbed a glass of water and returned to the living room, trying to play it cool, like I hadn't just walked in on something that would be etched in my memory forever. Sprout was still sitting on the couch, looking like a puppy who'd just been scolded. I handed him the glass of water and said, "You okay, babe?" trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
He looked up at me, his eyes still red from... well, you know, and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Gigi." I just smiled and said, "It's okay, Sprout. We've all been there." Okay, maybe not exactly there, but you get the idea.
As we sat there, sipping our water, trying to process the awkwardness that had just descended upon us, I couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, this was the universe's way of telling us to spice things up in the relationship. I mean, who needs date nights when you can have... um, "solo activities"?
Anyway, that's my exciting tale of accidentally walking in on my boyfriend in a compromising position. I'm still trying to process it all, but one thing's for sure – this is definitely going to be a story for the grandkids. Or maybe just a funny anecdote to share with Goob over beers.
Oh, and by the way, the sleeves of my sweater are still longer than my actual arms. That's just a fun little fact I thought I'd throw in there.