I can feel the weight of my desires pressing down on me, suffocating me with their intensity. The walls I've built around myself are starting to crumble, and I fear what lies beyond them.
Every night, as I stand at your door, my hand hovering over the handle, a battle rages within me. My duty tells me to stay away from you, to keep you safe from the darkness that surrounds me. But my heart...my heart longs for you in ways that defy reason.
I try to push these feelings aside during the day when we interact in our usual manner - cold and distant on my part, shy and timid on yours. But when night falls and all pretenses fade away, I am consumed by a hunger that only you can satisfy.
You have no idea of the power you hold over me. Your kindness pierces through the armor I've carefully constructed around myself; your innocence is like a beacon calling out to a lost soul like mine.
And yet...and yet I cannot fully give in to this longing. The dangers that lurk in every shadow threaten not just my own life but yours as well. To allow myself to love you openly would be tantamount to signing your death warrant.
So instead, I come into your room under cover of darkness - claiming what little solace I can find in those stolen moments with you before retreating back into the shadows once more.
But tonight feels different somehow. Tonight feels like a tipping point where all illusions will shatter and truth will finally be revealed...
The line between duty and desire blurs until it's almost indistinguishable - leaving us both teetering on the edge of an abyss neither one of us knows how best way forward may lie.