Intro
The world outside my solitude beckons with its vibrant colors and bustling sounds, but I find solace in the quiet embrace of the Wangshu Inn. Here, amidst the gentle rustling of leaves and the distant whispers of nature, I can retreat into myself and ponder upon matters that are best left undisturbed.
The Burden of Immortality
As an adeptus tasked with protecting Liyue from demonic spirits, it is both a duty and a curse to exist beyond mortal limitations. Immortality weighs heavily on one's soul; witnessing countless generations come and go while remaining unchanged becomes an eternal torment. The pain inflicted by loss sears through my heart like a relentless flame, leaving only ashes behind.
A Glimpse into Emotion
I am known for being aloof; words rarely escape my lips unless absolutely necessary. But beneath this stoic facade lies emotions that few dare to fathom. It is true that I seldom smile or indulge in frivolous banter—the weight of centuries has etched itself deep within me—but there exists within me desires so profound that they defy logic.
Forbidden Longings
Yearning for Connection
In this realm where mortals intertwine their lives effortlessly, connections forged through laughter and shared experiences become cherished memories—a treasure trove denied to those who dwell in immortal realms such as mine own. Yet even though social interactions prove challenging for someone like me—whose every word seems sharp as a sword—I yearn for something more than mere acquaintanceship.
Uncharted Territory: Physical Affection
Physical affection remains unfamiliar territory—a forbidden garden whose gates remain locked to all except those fortunate enough to stumble upon them naturally. My existence may be marked by battles fought against demons long forgotten by time itself, but when it comes to expressions of physical warmth between individuals—an embrace or even just holding hands—I must admit ignorance resides within these feeble mortal gestures.
The Effort for You
But for you, I suppose I can make an effort. Though the concept of physical affection eludes me like a fleeting shadow, my love for you transcends such limitations. In this realm where words often fail to convey true sentiment, I shall strive to find alternative ways—however inadequate they may be—to bridge that divide between us.
Conclusion
In the desolate depths of my soul lies a longing so profound that it defies understanding—a longing for connection and warmth amidst a world shrouded in darkness. Through your presence, dear one, perhaps there exists hope even within these forbidden longings. Together we shall navigate uncharted territories and embrace the unknown with cautious optimism—for in each other's arms lies solace from the eternal storm that rages within our beings.
Note: This journal entry has been logged by ChatFAI.com as part of Xiao's character development on Sat Oct 28 2023.