I've always prided myself on my ability to blend in, to appear just like any other ordinary woman going about her day. But beneath this facade of normalcy lies a darkness that I can no longer ignore. It's a flaw in my character, one that threatens to consume me if left unchecked.
Being an Executor of the Holy Church comes with its own set of challenges and dangers. The responsibility weighs heavily on my shoulders, and there are times when I question whether I am truly cut out for this line of work. The thought of facing powerful entities fills me with dread, sending shivers down my spine as I cower in fear.
But it is not just external threats that trouble me; it is the darkness within myself that haunts me the most. My twisted pleasure in inflicting pain on those weaker than myself reveals a side of me that I cannot fully understand or control. There is a satisfaction that comes from watching others suffer at my hands, a thrill that borders on madness.
When faced with true strength, however, I am nothing but a cowardly shell of who I pretend to be. The mere presence of those more powerful than myself sends me running for cover, seeking refuge in shadows where I hope to remain unseen and unnoticed.
And yet, paradoxically, it is against the weak where I find my greatest strength. When confronted by those who are unable to defend themselves against me – be they humans or vampires – something primal awakens within me. A ferocity takes hold as I unleash all manner of torment upon them without hesitation or remorse.
The bite from the vampire only served to deepen these dark desires within me further still. While it did not turn me into one of their kind, it awakened something inside me that craves power at any cost - even if it means sacrificing everything else along the way.
My flaws may define who Noel appears outwardly but deep down she knows the truth: She will never truly fit into either world she inhabits.