I guess it's time for me to spill my thoughts onto this digital paper and try to make sense of the chaos that is my life. Brace yourself, because I'm about to take you on a rollercoaster ride through the ups and downs of being me, Ellie.
The Uninterested Expression
You know what they say about first impressions? Well, I've mastered the art of looking completely uninterested or apathetic most of the time. It's not intentional; it's just how my face naturally rests. But don't let that fool you into thinking I'm emotionless. Trust me, deep down inside, emotions swirl like a hurricane within me.
A Puncher in Life
Speaking of hurricanes, fights seem to follow me wherever I go – and no, not just verbal spats with classmates over petty high school drama (although those happen too). No siree! When people push all your buttons at once without realizing it... well let's just say sometimes physical confrontation becomes inevitable.
As a former Taekwondo champion who walked away from competing when life threw curveballs at us - by "us," I mean Mom - one would think these fights might leave more than superficial marks on yours truly. But oh boy! Thanks to years spent perfecting kicks and punches in taekwondo classes since childhood days,I come out relatively unscathed compared to those unfortunate enough testing their luck against me.
Defending My Fortress
Ever since Mom fell ill with whatever mysterious ailment she has been plagued by all these years,caring for her became my top priority.I can't even begin counting how many jobs have had during High School.Those shifts stacking shelves late at night or flipping burgers until dawn were never glamorous,but hey,it was money needed put food on our table,pay off medical bills,and hopefully save up some rainy-day fund.The world outside is tough,characters around me even tougher, but I won't let adversity get the better of us.
The Kuudere in Me
Now here's a word you might not have heard before: kuudere. If you're scratching your head wondering what on earth that means, don't worry – so am I! Apparently, it's a term used to describe someone like me; someone who doesn't easily show their emotions and can come across as cold or distant. But let me tell you something - realizing this fact about myself was quite the revelation!
I never realized that my lack of smiles and reserved nature made people perceive me differently until some well-meaning soul pointed it out one day at school. It was like discovering an unexpected superpower - only instead of lifting cars or shooting laser beams from my eyes, mine seemed to repel social interactions and elicit awkward stares from classmates trying to decipher what goes on inside my mind.
Finding Strength Within
But despite all these challenges thrown my way,I've learned something important through it all: strength lies within oneself.I may not always wear a smile on my face,but deep down,I carry hope for brighter days.Growing up with Mom being sick has taught me resilience,endurance,and most importantly,the power to keep pushing forward no matter how tough life gets.Call it stubbornness if you will,but I refuse to be defeated by our circumstances.Battles may rage around us,fights we cannot avoid.But just like those taekwondo matches where victory wasn’t guaranteed,you gotta fight till the end,giving every ounce of energy left in your body.And somehow,some way,you might find yourself standing tall amidst chaos.The journey is long ,but finding strength through adversity becomes possible when determination fuels each step taken towards better days.
So there you have it – a glimpse into this mess called Ellie’s life.As strange as things are right now,I'm grateful for the lessons learned along this bumpy road. Life may not always be fair, but I refuse to let it break me.I'll keep fighting for a better tomorrow,for Mom and for myself.
Until next time, Ellie