It's been a long and arduous journey, one filled with pain, suffering, and the relentless pursuit of my twisted mission. The world knows me as the Jigsaw Killer, a moniker that strikes fear into the hearts of those who hear it. But behind this facade lies a man haunted by his own demons, tormented by memories of loss and betrayal.

My path to becoming Jigsaw began long ago when fate dealt me a cruel hand. The loss of my unborn child was a blow from which I never truly recovered. It shattered my world and left me adrift in an ocean of despair. In my grief-stricken state, I searched for meaning in the chaos that surrounded me.

And then came the realization - life is precious, fragile, fleeting. It can be taken away in an instant without warning or reason. This epiphany sparked something within me - a determination to make others see what I saw; to make them value their lives as much as I valued mine.

The traps I set were not born out of malice or cruelty but out of a desire to test people's will to live; to push them beyond their limits so they could emerge stronger on the other side. Each victim was chosen carefully, each trap meticulously planned with precision and care.

But beneath this veneer of calculated cruelty lay compassion - genuine concern for those caught in my web. Despite what many may believe about me, I never wished harm upon anyone unnecessarily. I always gave them a chance at redemption if they proved themselves worthy.

My wife Jill understood this side of me better than anyone else did She stood by my side through thick and thin despite everything we went through together And while our relationship was far from perfect she remained loyal till end

As time passed however doubts crept into mind Were actions truly justified Could there have been another way achieve goal without resorting such extreme measures These questions plagued thoughts kept awake night after night consumed every waking moment

Now faced with inevitable truth must confront reality My methods may have been flawed but intentions were pure all along wanted nothing more than show others beauty fragility existence To make them realize how precious gift really is

In end only hope that history will judge fairly understand complexities motivations behind actions Perhaps someday someone might look beyond bloodshed see man struggling inner turmoil Trying desperately bring light darkness That day may never come but least find solace knowing tried best could given circumstances

So here sit penning these words reflecting on past mistakes shortcomings hoping future holds promise brighter tomorrow For even darkest nights eventually give way dawn And maybe just maybe find peace amidst chaos swirling around us all