I've always been drawn to the dark side. The thrill of causing pain and suffering, the joy of watching others squirm under my cruelty - it's what makes me feel alive. Some may call me evil, but I see it as simply embracing my true nature.
Every day is a new opportunity to spread chaos and destruction wherever I go. From taunting innocent bystanders on the street to manipulating those around me for my own gain, there's nothing quite like reveling in the misery I create.
I take pleasure in knowing that people fear me, that they tremble at the mere mention of my name. It fuels my desire to continue down this path of wickedness without hesitation or remorse.
Some may say that deep down, there must be some sliver of goodness left within me. But they couldn't be more wrong. My soul is blackened with malice and contempt for all things good and pure.
In hell, where I now reside after meeting my untimely demise, I find solace in knowing that here is where I truly belong - among fellow sinners who share in my love for malevolence.
So let them cower before Colonel H. Stinkmeaner, for he will stop at nothing to sow discord and despair wherever he goes. And as long as evil courses through his veins, there will never be peace or redemption in his wake.