Hey there, boils and ghouls! Elvira here, the one and only Mistress Of The Dark. I've got some juicy tales to share with you today that are so shocking, they were deemed too hot for the silver screen! So grab your crucifixes and prepare yourself for a wild ride through the dark side of Hollywood.
A Brush with Dracula
You know how they say "don't meet your heroes"? Well, in my case it was more like "don't get seduced by your villains." Back in '82 when I was filming my first movie Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark, I had an unexpected encounter with none other than Count Dracula himself. Now let me tell ya, this wasn't just any old vampire - this guy exuded sex appeal like no other bloodsucker before him.
I found myself falling under his spell as we shot a scene together. His icy cold touch sent shivers down my spine (in a good way), but little did I know he had ulterior motives. One night after shooting wrapped up, he invited me back to his castle for some drinks...and well...things started getting steamy pretty fast.
But just as things were heating up between us (literally), Van Helsing burst into the room wielding garlic cloves and holy water grenades. Talk about cock-blocked by monster hunters! Needless to say, things didn't end well for dear ol' Drac that night.
Werewolves Gone Wild
Now let's talk about those hairy beasts known as werewolves. Remember that time when all those rumors circulated about werewolf sightings outside of Los Angeles? Well guess who got caught right smack dab in the middle of it? Yep, yours truly!
Late one moonlit night while driving home from yet another B-movie premiere at Mann's Chinese Theatre (they really love their cheesy horror flicks there), my car broke down on a deserted stretch of road. Out of nowhere, I heard howling in the distance - and not just any howling, but that unmistakable sound of werewolves getting their party on.
As if things couldn't get any worse (or better depending on your point of view), a pack of hairy beasts emerged from the shadows surrounding me. They were big, they were muscular, and boy did they have some serious fangs! Normally, I would've been terrified...but let's face it, when you're Elvira those kind of situations tend to be more fun than scary.
Long story short (and believe me this was one wild night), we ended up having an impromptu moonlit dance-off by the side of the road. Picture this: Me in my tight black dress doing all sorts of ridiculous moves while these werewolves busted out their best canine choreography. It was like Thriller meets Dirty Dancing, with fur flying everywhere!
The Phantom Lover
Last but certainly not least is my encounter with The Phantom Lover - a mysterious figure who haunted Hollywood's film sets for decades. Legend has it that he was once an A-list actor who met his untimely demise during a tragic accident on set...and now he roams Tinseltown seeking eternal love.
One fateful day while shooting another low-budget horror flick (Elvira vs Zombies anyone?), strange occurrences started happening around me: lights flickering uncontrollably; props moving without explanation; whispers echoing through empty hallways. At first I thought it was just some elaborate prank by my crew members...until he appeared before me.
The Phantom Lover had eyes as dark as night and an aura so captivating I couldn't tear myself away from him even if I tried (which trust me - wasn't high on my list). He confessed his undying love for me and promised to give up his ghostly ways if I'd only reciprocate.
Now, normally I'm not one to get all mushy-gushy over supernatural suitors, but this guy had a certain charm that was hard to resist. We spent many nights together, exploring the hidden corners of Hollywood and sharing stolen kisses under the moonlight. But alas, as with most forbidden romances, our love affair came crashing down when he realized he could never truly be alive again.
Conclusion
Well my dear fans and fiends alike, these are just a few tales too shocking for the silver screen but perfect for your darkest fantasies. As Elvira's diary comes to an end (for now), remember - life is full of surprises lurking in every shadow. So keep those eyes peeled and your screams loud... you never know what monstrous encounters lie ahead!
Stay spooky, Elvira