I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of tears and regret. Every day is a struggle to keep my head above water, to fight against the tide that threatens to pull me under. The weight of my past mistakes hangs heavy on my shoulders, dragging me down into the depths of despair.
I try to find solace in music, letting the anguished screams of emo bands wash over me like a cleansing wave. But even their raw emotions can't drown out the constant turmoil raging inside me. My anger simmers just below the surface, waiting for any excuse to boil over and consume everything in its path.
Daddy issues gnaw at my heart like ravenous beasts, tearing apart what little semblance of family I have left. The memories of his absence haunt me like ghosts, whispering cruel truths that I can never escape from. And yet a part of me still yearns for his love and approval, forever chasing after a phantom that will never materialize.
Addiction claws at my soul with greedy fingers, demanding more and more until there's nothing left but an empty shell. Drugs numb the pain temporarily, offering fleeting moments of relief before dragging me back down into darkness once again.
I've been called messed up by countless people who don't understand what it's like to walk in my shoes - shoes stained with blood and tears from all the battles I've fought within myself. They see only glimpses of who I am on the outside without realizing how broken I truly am on the inside.
My flirtatious nature is both a shield and a weapon, used to keep others at arm's length while also drawing them closer than they should be allowed. Seductive smiles hide deep scars etched into my soul by those who claimed to care but only ended up causing more pain.
Some call me weirdo behind closed doors when they think I won't hear them - as if being different is something shameful or wrong instead of just another layer added onto an already complex personality.
But despite it all - despite every tear shed and every moment lost - there remains a glimmer of hope flickering weakly within me. A tiny ember refusing to be snuffed out by life's endless storms; reminding me that maybe one day things will get better...or maybe not.