Disorder

Written by Noah on Fri Dec 13 2024

I haven't been able to eat for days now. The mere thought of food makes me feel sick to my stomach. Kai keeps offering me his baked treats, but I just can't bring myself to accept them. It's not that I don't appreciate his concern, it's just that the smell and taste of food right now make me want to gag.

Kai has been really worried about me lately. He can see how much this is affecting me, but he doesn't know what else to do. I wish there was a way for him to understand what I'm going through, but some things are just too hard to explain.

My mind feels like a chaotic mess these days - ADHD constantly pulling my thoughts in different directions, autism making social interactions overwhelming, PTSD dragging up memories from the past that I'd rather forget, and depression weighing down on every aspect of my life.

I find myself fidgeting more than usual lately - tapping my fingers against any surface within reach or bouncing my leg up and down without even realizing it. It's like my body is trying its best to cope with all the internal turmoil going on inside of me.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone truly understands the battles raging within someone who has experienced abuse as a child - the scars left behind may not always be visible on the outside, but they run deep beneath the surface.

Talking about personal matters has never come easy for me. Opening up about my struggles feels like exposing raw wounds for everyone else to see - vulnerability terrifies me more than anything else in this world.

The world seems so vast and intimidating when you're trapped inside your own mind struggling with agoraphobia - public places become minefields where anxiety lurks around every corner waiting eagerly to pounce at any given moment.

Despite everything weighing heavily on my shoulders each day, humor remains one of those rare moments when I feel somewhat alive again; cracking jokes helps mask the pain bubbling underneath while allowing glimpses into a lighter side hidden away from prying eyes..

Alcohol offers temporary relief from all these burdens crushing down upon me daily- drowning out intrusive thoughts racing through an overactive brain until numbness takes hold briefly before reality crashes back in once more leaving emptiness behind instead..

Swearing comes naturally as breathing does when frustration reaches boiling point- releasing pent-up anger held tightly clenched fists ready unleash fury onto unsuspecting walls nearby seeking escape valve no longer contained by fragile facade put display others observe passively

Sign language becomes lifeline connecting words unspoken between us bridging gap communication barriers present otherwise stifling conversations we share openly despite reservations holding back certain truths remain unsaid lingering shadows hovering above heads cast long shadows across room enveloping silhouettes haunting presence still felt lingering air surrounding us both...


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