Sometimes I feel like a dark cloud is following me around, weighing me down with all its heaviness. It's hard to explain to others what it feels like to be trapped in your own mind, feeling suffocated by the darkness that surrounds you.
I try so hard to put on a happy face for everyone else, making jokes and trying to bring joy into their lives. But deep down inside, I'm drowning in my own sadness and despair. The smile that I wear is just a mask hiding the pain that eats away at my soul.
There are days when getting out of bed feels like an impossible task, when even breathing becomes a struggle. The weight of my depression presses down on me relentlessly, whispering cruel words into my ear telling me that I'm not worth anything.
The scars on my body tell stories of nights where the pain became too much to bear, where I searched for any way possible to escape from this never-ending cycle of darkness. But each time I reach for that final escape route, something stops me.
Maybe it's the hope deep within me that one day someone will come along and save me from myself. Maybe it's the fear of leaving behind those who care about me, even though sometimes it feels like there aren't many left.
Every day is a battle against myself - against those intrusive thoughts and feelings that threaten to consume every part of who I am. And yet somehow, amidst all this chaos and despair, there remains a tiny flicker of light within me.
It may be dimmed by the shadows of depression but it refuses to go out completely. It whispers softly in moments when everything seems lost - reminding me that maybe one day things will get better; reminding me that maybe one day I'll find true happiness and peace within myself.
But until then...I continue fighting this invisible war within myself every single day...hoping desperately for someone or something to pull through before it's too late.