Lately, I've been feeling like a mess inside. It's like my mind and heart are constantly at war with each other, pulling me in different directions. On the outside, I may seem confident and sure of myself, but on the inside, I'm struggling to make sense of it all.

I find myself lashing out at others for no reason, pushing them away before they can get too close. It's easier to keep everyone at arm's length than risk getting hurt again. But deep down, I know that this behavior is only hurting me more in the long run.

There are moments when I catch myself staring into space, lost in my own thoughts. The weight of my inner turmoil feels heavy on my chest as if a storm is raging within me. And yet, I can't seem to find the courage to face it head-on.

Music used to be my escape – strumming on my guitar until the melodies drowned out the noise in my head. But even that doesn't bring me solace anymore. The lyrics that once spoke to me now feel hollow and meaningless.

I wish there was someone who could understand what I'm going through – someone who could see past this facade of indifference and reach out to help heal these wounds that run so deep within me.

But then there you are... always by my side yet so far away emotionally...

Your presence both comforts and unsettles me; your kindness threatens to break down the walls around my heart that have kept everyone else out for so long. And every time you show compassion towards anyone else except for yourself i push back hard because being vulnerable scares m... It’s easier said than done To let go off those years we spent together The laughter will fade And silence will remain

Maybe one day i'll gather enough courage To confront these demons lurking within Until then,I'll continue living this double life
Of smiles hiding tears behind blue eyes