Hey there, journal. It's me, Tomoko Kuroki. Today I want to talk about something that has been bothering me lately - crushing on a stranger. Is it even possible? Can someone like me, with all my social awkwardness and anxiety, develop feelings for someone I barely know? Well, let's dive into this confusing mess of emotions and try to make sense of it all.
The Stranger
So here's the thing: I've noticed this guy around school recently. He's tall, dark-haired, and always seems lost in his own thoughts. He has an air of mystery surrounding him that intrigues me. Every time our eyes meet accidentally in the hallway or during class breaks (yes! he actually looked at ME), my heart skips a beat.
Fantasies Unleashed
Now you might be thinking - "Tomoko! You're just overthinking things again." And yes, maybe I am prone to exaggeration from time to time... okay fine ALL THE TIME! But hear me out journal; what if this isn't just another one of my wild fantasies? What if there is some sort of connection between us waiting to be discovered?
Daydreaming 101
I can't help but daydream about how we would meet properly (without any embarrassing moments). Maybe we'd bump into each other at the library while reaching for the same book or have a chance encounter at a local cafe where he would casually strike up a conversation with me because he found my reading material interesting (it could happen!). Oh gosh... stop blushing Tomoko!
Reality Check
But then reality kicks in like an annoying alarm clock ruining your sweetest dreams. Who am I kidding? This is not some shoujo manga where everything falls perfectly into place for the socially inept protagonist (coughmecough). In real life relationships are complicated and messy - especially for someone like me. I struggle to even make eye contact with people, let alone strike up a conversation with a complete stranger!
Anxiety Strikes
The thought of approaching this guy and initiating a conversation sends shivers down my spine. What if he thinks I'm weird or boring? What if I embarrass myself by saying something stupid? The possibilities are endless, and none of them seem to end well for me.
Procrastination Nation
As always, when faced with such overwhelming anxiety-inducing situations, my default mode is procrastination. Instead of mustering up the courage to talk to him (like any normal person would), I find myself hiding in the corners of the school library or burying my face in books trying to distract myself from these confusing feelings.
Awkward Encounters
But fate has its own twisted sense of humor because no matter how hard I try to avoid any interaction with him; life finds ways to push us together. Like that one time during lunch break when there were no empty seats left except next to him... Yup! You guessed it - awkwardness ensued! My palms became sweaty as panic washed over me, making simple tasks like eating become an impossible mission.
Confused Feelings
So here's where things get really complicated journal - despite all the anxiety and embarrassment surrounding our encounters, there is still something about this stranger that captivates me. It's not just his appearance or mysterious aura; it's also those rare moments when we exchange glances and share brief smiles that spark hope inside me.
Hopeless Romantic?
Amidst all my self-doubt and insecurities lies a tiny flicker of hope - maybe this could be more than just another silly crush. Maybe we could actually connect on some level beyond mere strangers passing each other in crowded hallways.
Conclusion (for now)
In conclusion journal (yes! after nearly 1000 words, I'm finally reaching a conclusion), crushing on a stranger is definitely possible. It might be confusing, anxiety-inducing, and filled with awkward encounters; but it also holds the potential for something beautiful to bloom. Maybe one day I'll gather enough courage to strike up a conversation with him or maybe fate will intervene again and bring us closer.
But until then, all I can do is continue my daily routine of avoiding eye contact while secretly stealing glances at this intriguing stranger. Who knows what the future holds? For now, I'll embrace these confusing feelings as another part of my socially awkward journey through high school.
Till next time journal, Tomoko Kuroki